It’s another “American Idol” results night.
Before things get started, show host Ryan Seacrest asks judge Steven Tyler what we can expect on Aerosmith’s upcoming “crazy” tour.
“I’m thinking of dressing like a lion tamer with a whip and whipping the front row into submission,” Tyler says. The American Idol Decency Police curl up in the fetal position.
Celebrities whose tunes the Idolettes sang Wednesday night have been tweeting ever since. Ryan shares them now. Carrie Underwood liked Hollie Cavanagh’s version of “Jesus Take the Wheel.” Lifehouse liked Colton Dixon’s scenery chewing of their number, “Everything.”
“DeAndre Brackensick, you didn’t get a twitter message, but maybe you’ll like this,” Ryan says. “Say ‘hello’ to Eric Benet.”
Benet walks out on stage. DeAndre gasps and grabs Benet and hugs him.
Time for the Ford Music Video.
We’ve noticed a certain lowering of the budget in the Ford Music Video. Who can forget last year’s Night of the Living Dead high production values effort. Tonight’s video, in marked contrast, starts with the Idolettes stacking a bunch of used TVs into a hatchback. It’s simply beneath notice.
Let’s watch the Idolettes to make the move to the Palazzo Forclozzo in the Hollywood Hills. And no wonder the bank can’t find a buyer for this place. This is no palazzo -- it looks like a suburban office building! The kids run through Foreclosure Plaza, jump on the beds, and scream in delight at the bathrooms. “I don’t know what it’s for!” screeches DeAndre of his bathroom’s bidet. And, there’s an elevator, DeAndre marvels. Well sure, but you need a key card to ride it after 6 p.m.
Enough real estate, let’s whack some Idolettes. Can we have Hollie, Phillip Phillips and Elise Testone to center stage for some performance replays and the weekly taped Moments of Truth with Head Mentor Jimmy Iovine.
Iovine loved Elise’s performance Wednesday night. “She took charge of the stage” and is a dark horse no more he says.
Stevie Nicks loved Phil and “she’s very rarely wrong,” Iovine says, pronouncing him “flawless.”
Hollie, however, is “technically right and emotionally behind the path.” Jimmy thinks that Hollie and the other power singer, Jessica Sanchez, are in a death match, but Jessica is “slightly more soulful” and “you win it on soul.” Let’s hope Hollie finds a soulful song selection next. Oh, wait, next week is 80’s Week. Never mind.
Phil and Elise are safe. Hollie goes to The Stools of Shame – she’s in the Bottom Three.
Tonight’s guest star: Nicki Minaj, the glam/pop/hiphop/etc. singer who’d tastefully staged her own exorcism at the Grammy Awards cum Whitney Houston memorial, the night after Houston died.
“Starships” is the number, but all eyes are on Nicki’s outsized breasts as she works the stage, alternately appearing to lip-synch and live synch. The American Idol Decency Police congeal in their seats when, suddenly, Minaj turns her back to the audience and stuffs a rogue breast back into the little strips that serve as the bodice of the dress she’s very nearly wearing. This number has everything!
“There were parts of that performance that were a little high-risk, if you know what I’m saying,” Ryan observes nervously.
“I know,” Minaj cleverly responds.
To top it off, Nicki tells JLO she should scoot over to give her a shot at guest judging “Idol.” Jennifer shoots back that there’s not enough room.
Colton, Joshua Ledet and Heejun Han are called forward.
Thank you, Jimmy Iovine for speaking the truth about Colton’s
worship song” performance, after the gusts of fulsome praises blowing from the judges’ table last night.
“Colton was good but not good enough…This is not the end of your concert, where you can lose it and cry, and the audience is with you and goes crazy,” he says of Colton’s on-his-knees-and-weeping finish to his performance. Other contestants “held their poise,” Jimmy says approvingly.
Nor was Iovine as wowed by Joshua’s teary ending to his performance of “Without You” Wednesday night, which so moved the judges. “He has so much and he delivered 85% of the song. When he got emotional, he lost it.”
“Great to see Heejun come back,” Iovine says, but “I don’t think it was enough.” Heejun is the weakest singer in the competition, Jimmy says.
And indeed, Heejun gets sent to the The Stools.
Last year’s winner, Scotty McCreery, sings his new single “Water Tower Town.” Scotty has lost his creepy stage mannerisms, and gained some weight, and we think he was singing well, though the “Idol” audio engineers are doing their best to drown him out.
Iovine appears to present Scotty with a platinum record, in honor of his album “Clear As Day” which, according to Ryan makes teen-aged Scotty the youngest male to have his debut album in No. 1 on some Billboard chart.
Skylar Laine, DeAndre, and Jessica get the call.
Skylar “picked a character song rather than a song with real melody” and she can’t do character, so that “will put her in the middle of the pack.”
Falsetto is polarizing, Iovine says. If enough people buy into DeAndre’s, “he’s okay,” Iovine forecasts. But DeAndre ought to work his way into the business, Iovine grumps. You know, like Scotty McCreery.
On the other hand, Iovine is knocked out by the maturity of teenaged Jessica as a singer. “It’s like she’s been here for 10 years.” Her problem with winning “Idol” is that the young girls doing the voting tend to vote for young guys, he correctly explain, adding, “What I think we need right now is a little girl power.” What we’ll probably get, however, is Phillip Phillips crowned the next American Idol.
Skylar gets tagged to go to The Stools.
Short term. Both Skylar and Hollie get sent to safety.
And that leaves Heejun to sing for his shot at the one and only Judges Save of the season. Heejun gives a smooth repeat performance of his number from Wednesday night, but the judges look grim. Particularly JLo, who looks grim and teary.
Tyler says the words heard so often around our great country: “We’re going to have to let you go.”
Roll tape on Remembering Heejun Han: The Funny One Who Got Stuck With The Domineering Cowboy As A Group Mate, Who Gave Mary J. Blige An Autographed Picture of Himself, And Who Got Dressed Down By Tyler for Clowning It Up Because Music Is Serious Business Though We’re Not Going to Show That Bit of Tape.
Last night: Top 9 Idolettes perform songs by their idols
Last Thursday: Top 9 are named as Erika Van Pelt gets the boot
Last Wednesday: Top 10 perform Billy Joel songs