Judges L.A. Reid, Nicole Scherzinger, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell. (Ray Mickshaw/Fox)

“It’s not about me any more – it’s about them,” Simon says in a voiceover. “I want to make people’s dreams come true. I even think about the environment,” he says as he gets into an all-electric Volt car.

Of course, it’s all just a nightmare, from which Simon awakes, then gets into his gas hog guys-overcompensating car, and goes to go meet his fellow judges getting out of their gas hog private jets and choppers while the tune “Live and Let Die” plays.

Cut to a montage of Simon-isms:

“That was horrific.”

“Absolute total rubbish.”

“You are deluded.”

Simon faces the camera:

“What else did you expect?”