“We don’t know what we are doing. We have no idea what people want to see. Why is this so hard for you to understand? Remember last year, that [cross-dressing guys] show ‘Work It’? You know we were kidding about that. That was a joke. The fact that [Brit ABC programming chief] Paul Lee greenlit that should tell you everything you need to know about what Brits think about us.”

For years, ABC late night star Jimmy Kimmel has done a seventh-inning stretch performance during his network’s presentation of next season’s plans; it’s generally the highlight of the week for advertisers.

Kimmel on NBC’s new schedule: “Spinning chairs and a monkey. This truly is The Golden Age of Television.”

Kimmel on Fox and new “X Factor” mentors: “No one knows talent like Britney Spears and Demi Lovato. I feel bad for Paula Abdul. She paved the way. She never got $15 million. She’s the Rosa Parks of bi-polar talent show judges. And we must never forget her.”

Kimmel on CBS: “Raise your hand if you ever said to anyone, ‘Did you see what happened last night on ‘NCIS’! It’s never been said.”

Kimmel also confirmed Lee had recently been approached about taking the top job at BBC. But Lee decided to turn them down, Kimmel said, for one reason. ”Dental.”

“Jimmy Kimmel — he will be missed,” Lee quipped as Kimmel left the stage.