Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris arrives at a premiere in Los Angeles. (Matt Sayles/AP)

The two-hour special was scheduled to debut on July 13. Lifetime was granted exclusive access to the final weeks leading to the wedding ceremony in front of a few hundred of the couple’s closest friend at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles.

Hef and Crystal — who is so much younger than Hef, the age gap could compete as a “golden oldie” on Discovery Fit and Health’s “Are you Fitter Than a Senior?” — were supposed to wed this weekend.

But Crystal ran out of ways to capitalizing on their union — their courtship had played out on E! network’s Playboy reality series “Girls Next Door,” she plugged her new Crystal Harris Age Gap Cheat Sheet iPhone App on Will Ferrell’s comedy video Web site Funny or Die, AND she is on the cover of the Playboy magazine issue hitting newsstands Friday in which she is crowned “America’s Princess” – leaving the poor girl no earthly reason to go through with the actual wedding.

So Lifetime is left with no special, and Hef is left tweeting that he’s going to watch “Runaway Bride” instead this weekend.

Life is sometimes so sad.