(Credit: ustream.tv)

Instead, he talked for eight minutes straight -- some of it was comprehensible. Sheen did not address comments he’d made earlier in the day in which he called his “Men” co-star Jon Cryer a “a turncoat, a traitor, a troll.” Nor did he address the addition of Rob Lowe’s name to the Charlie Sheen Replacement Rumor List. Among the things we learned:

* Sheen feels, “Oh how they once begged to attend to attend my perfect banquet in the nude, now they just beg for the keys to my gold. Here is my unwanted guest list. The names slightly altered to prevent their stench from polluting my magic daiquiri, or even worse, stealing my favorite pony. A pony named Steve, his orange mane painted blue, blue like the evening sky, as he gallops into the basement to acquire the ancient flatware and a rotting cheeseboard covered in the mold of their moral dysentery.”

* Sheen’s Unwanted Guest List now includes CBS CEO Leslie Moonves, Warner Bros. Television president Peter Roth and Television Group president Bruce Rosenblum, and of course, “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre.

But you can watch the entire web stream here -- warning: adult language. A lot of adult language.