Pulitzer Prize medallion

Sig Gissler, administrator of the Pulitzer Prizes, said, “I know of no mysterious cabal,” in response to accusations from actor Tom Hanks.

In a Monday video on YouTube, Hanks protested the group “of power brokers and so-called tastemakers who gather annually in what must be some all-night drunken bacchanalia slash pinata-party the result is which is the awarding of the prized Pulitzer.” His message was part of a recently launched campaign by The Onion, demanding the time is now for the satirical newspaper to win the top journalism prize.

Disregard the fact that submissions are not due until next February. The Onion; what is likely a made-up entity, “The Americans For Fairness In Awarding Journalism Prizes,” and such luminaries as Hanks and Georgia President Mikheil Saakashvili are all publicly proclaiming the need for an Onion Pulitzer.

“I’m totally convinced that it’s high time for the Onion to receive a Pulitzer Prize,” Saakashvili says in a YouTube video (see below).

Gissler, however, said public opinion will not sway the Pulitzer board in deciding the best in journalism.

While he did not want to offer advice on how to win (“our awards speak for themselves”), he did suggest the Onion try one thing to achieve its dream: “You need to submit something in order to win.”

The Onion, though it has submitted work 10 times to no avail, did not nominate any work last year.

The campaign comes just in time for what the Onion editors are claiming to be their 1,000 issue of “America’s Finest News Source.” Though that number is the editor’s best guess at an anniversary. “Since we say it is, it is,” Seth Reiss, The Onion’s head writer, told the New York Times.

Gissler said that though he had thought there were more serious problems in America to be concerned about, “I’m happy we can provide some comic relief in a grim world.”