This featured article was written by a Student Journalist Program participant and was reviewed by mentors from The Washington Post prior to publishing.
Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved in this story
When 15-year-old high school freshman Matt came out as transgender in front of over 100 of his peers at a small independent school in Northern Virginia, the response to his announcement was unimaginable.
“Everyone ran and gave him a big hug and we all said how proud we are and how much we love him. It was just such a great moment,” said junior Hailey, a fellow classmate, on his coming-out.
With tears in many students and teachers’ eyes, Matt announced to his school community a core part of his being that he had always known, if not always understood. Applauds abound, Matt embarked on a journey toward acceptance.
“I remember when I was around the age of two or three, I refused to wear purple and pink, things typically perceived as feminine,” he said. “I think it was my fourth birthday when I got a guitar for my birthday. As a four-year-old with no idea what I was doing, I began to sing a song with these lyrics.”
“I wanna be a dog, woof woof woof. I wanna be a cat, meow meow meow. I wanna be a mouse, squeek squeek squeek,” he sang in an interview. “I wanna be a man, wooh wooh wooh!”
Sporting an exquisitely-crafted bowtie and a button-down shirt, neatly tucked into his khaki pants, Matt described the struggles of growing up in a world that sought to impose a female body on a person who was unequivocally male.
“In health class, divided by gender, I knew that what I was seeing was wrong,” he said. “Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw a guy. Even though I was told I was a girl, and I had certain parts, I knew something wasn’t right. I was just very confused.”
“When puberty hit, everyone was telling me that I had to be a young woman now. I started shopping less in the boys department, I grew out my hair, trying to embrace femininity, even though it wasn’t for me and I was completely miserable. I just did what I had to do, I suppose.”
But as Matt grew out of his pubescent years, he began to make sense of the often painful confusion he felt within. “I started researching what being transgender meant, and immediately, something clicked, and I knew that this was me.”
Self-acceptance, complemented by an unmistakably accepting family, gave Matt the strength to embrace his true identity. As Matt entered his freshman year, his birth name remained a relic of the past, inasmuch as this article – and the email address and school ID that he now carries – bare no mention of it.
For transgender teenagers like Matt, “coming-out” means more than simply announcing one’s gender identity to the world. Instead, it is a complex, highly-logistical process with a variety of factors that underscore the necessity of a welcoming community and support system.
“It’s a long complicated process, because there are so many factors. The locker rooms, bathrooms, dress code, school trips, everything,” he said.
At his school, Matt worked with an open-minded administration – which requested not to be named for privacy reasons – to ensure that he felt welcome and secure. “The school was able to change my school ID and email in less than one day. They were really great with everything. They’ve been asking me what I want, and seeing what they can do for me,” he said.
In Matt’s journey, the school’s director of diversity and inclusion played an integral role in achieving that goal. “As educators, we must recognize that diversity and inclusion are essential elements for creating an atmosphere of educational excellence,” she said. “Understanding of our commonalities and differences provides a broad view that strengthens us as a community and enhances the learning environment.”
For both Matt and the school, the process is uncharted territory. “I’m the first person to come out publicly here,” he said.
Nevertheless, the response to Matt’s announcement has been overwhelmingly positive. “At school, I haven’t encountered anyone who has been not supportive,” he said. “I’ve gotten a lot of questions, people just come up and ask questions. And people who aren’t supportive – if they exist – just don’t talk to me.”
With the amount of support he has received in his community, however, Matt considers himself lucky among transgender teenagers.
When 17-year-old Leelah Alcorn jumped in front of a bus on December 28, her apparent suicide served as a poignant reminder of the struggles faced by transgender youth in America, of whom 50 percent will have tried to kill themselves before age 20.
But while the lives of transgender youth remain difficult in this country, a small but significant social revolution is slowly brimming.
Last year, “Orange Is the New Black”cast member Laverne Cox was the first transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy Award in an acting category. “Transparent,” a show focusing on a transgender storyline, won a Golden Globe for best comedy. Even President Obama emphasized the importance of standing up for transgender members of our community during the State of the Union address.
Even with the most welcoming family, friends, and school he could have had, however, Matt’s story is not a utopia. “I’ve been facing my fair share of challenges with this,” he said. “I think the hardest part was being closeted, because nobody can understand, and you can’t say or explain how you’re feeling because you’re not ready yet. It’s like being trapped.”
Despite its difficulties, however, Matt’s story serves as a paragon of hope for transgender teenagers who might be questioning or struggling with the difficulties of gender dysphoria.