If you missed Silk Sonic at the Grammys in March or on the cover of Rolling Stone in August, here’s the rumpus: Pop superstar Bruno Mars, 36, and singer-rapper Anderson Paak, 35, were born too late to catch “Soul Train” in its prime, so they decided to make a ’70s-like funk album for people who understand Halloween only as a sexual opportunity.

An Evening With Silk Sonic” is 31 minutes of make-believe fun, the duo forging a zesty and meaningless horniness out of borrowed memories. There’s lots of dripping bass, lots of groaning organ, lots of guitars that go chicka-chicka-wah. Vocally, the division of labor is pretty straightforward: Paak rasps through his verses with unrelenting wink-wink, then Mars soars through the refrains. You can hear it best during “Fly As Me,” a song that aims to create a lusty swirl of James Brown, Curtis Mayfield and Sly Stone but ends up sounding like a bunch of Target and Old Navy commercials trying to feel each other up.

The only genuinely freaky thing about this music is the inherent weirdness that comes with watching people trying to reanimate an era they didn’t live through. What’s up with that? Nostalgia signifies an achy yearning for the past, and this isn’t that. Silk Sonic only cares about the fastest route to pleasure. So maybe it’s this: When you’re playing with pieces of a frozen yesterday, you can edit things down so you’re only dealing with the fun parts — the same way a Renaissance fair has turkey drumsticks, corsets, axe-throwing and no dysentery.

Too bad, then, that Silk Sonic forgot to make their neo-funk funky. It’s a serial problem for Mars, who famously took his funk uptown, sanitized it, then won a bunch of Grammys for good hygiene. These new Silk Sonic cuts feel similarly squeaky clean. Even the album’s spoken interludes from funk royalty Bootsy Collins can’t save them. “You smell better than a barbecue,” Mars sings flirtatiously on “Skate,” but everything still reeks of Pine-Sol.

Ultimately, Silk Sonic is too nice to be nasty and too famous to be useful. As a wedding band, they would absolutely kill.

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