(Click here to skip down to the winning acrostics/backronyms from Week 1169)
Spaghetti-Z’s: Okay, not the most exciting dinner in a can ...
Gif: Peanut butter that you’ll keep eating and eating and eating ...
Weedies: The more of this cereal you eat, the hungrier you get.
Bristle sprouts: Clean out your insides with the highest-fiber vegetable around.
Go ahead, play with your food. This week: Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. By “slightly change,” we mean you shouldn’t have to explain to the Empress what the product was in the first place. We’ve done this contest once before, back in 2009, but there’s a lot of food out there; we’re sure you can give us a whole new menu. (See this week’s Style Conversational column, at bit.ly/conv1173 (published Thursday afternoon, April 28), to see what got ink in Week 845; you may reuse an inking name as long as you give a significantly different description.)
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives, of course, food — two foods: first, a can of genuine Korean silkworms, picked up by the Empress at the Lotte supermarket in Springfield, Va., but given a pass by the Royal Consort; and, because we know that the second-place finisher didn’t want that ugly ol’ Inkin’ Memorial anyway, an actual jar of genuine imported sour grapes.
Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug, the older-model “This Is Your Brain on Mugs” mug or a vintage Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “Magnet Dum Laude” or “Falling Jest Short.” First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). Email entries to firstname.lastname@example.org. Deadline is Monday night, May 9; results published May 29 (online May 26). You may submit up to 25 entries per contest. Include “Week 1173” in your email subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The headline for this week’s results is by Tom Witte; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Chris Doyle. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev. “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.
The Style Conversational: The Empress’s weekly online column, published late Thursday afternoon , discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv.
In Week 1169 we asked you to “review” or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show as an acrostic, or backronym — in which the first letters of the words spell out the name of the work.
THE SIMPSONS: To Homer, everything simple is most precious: sandwiches, oxygen, nuclear science . . . (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)
THE MARRIAGE OF FIGARO: Take “Hamilton’s” example: Make a rap revival! It’s antiquated, grabs exclusively old farts. Freshen it! Guaranteed audiences! Rap Opera! (Hildy Zampella, Falls Church, Va.)
PSYCHO: Peacefully showering, you’re clean, happy . . . OMG!!! (Stephen Gold, Glasgow, Scotland)
GAME OF THRONES: George, act motivated! Expectations of finished tomes have readers overanalyzing nearly every scene! (Kurt Stahl, Frederick, Md.)
THE WEST WING: TV’s habitual escapism: Wise executive solves the world’s issues — no gridlock! (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS: The Hebrews exit (Thanks, Egypt — not!), complaining: “Oy! Moses! Manna again!” Nice desert. Man emotes next to Sinai. (Stephen Gold)
TWILIGHT: Twit woman inspired love in gorgeous hunks? Typical! (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
THE AMERICANS: Two hairpieced expert apparatchik moles evade Reagan’s illustrious CIA as nation sleeps. (Paul Comstock, Lancaster, Pa.)
BATMAN: Bruce appreciates that manservant Alfred’s nonjudgmental. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?: Washed-up historian overdoes sadistic amore. Frump retaliates, and in devilishly overt flirtation vivifies irresistible rookie geometry instructor. (No, it’s algebra. Whatever.) Offspring offed. Lasciviously Freudian! (Barry Brennessel, Silver Spring, Md.)
FAST AND FURIOUS: Forget about story — there’s absolutely none. (Does feature unnecessary racing, incessant overdrive, underdressed starlets.) (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)
BRIAN’S SONG: Bro relations in action. Next, see sobbing of normal guys. (Steve McClemons, Arlington, Va.)
ATLAS SHRUGGED: “Altruism’s totally lame!” Ayn says. Selfish hero’s rant: unbelievably gassy. Grimly earnest didacticism. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
BAMBI: Blam! And Mama bites it! (Hildy Zampella)
DELIVERANCE: Dang, everyone loves interesting vacations. (Exceptions: river abductions, nightmarish carnal encounters.) (Frank Mann, Washington)
MAGIC MIKE: Matrons are going in crowds; men, insecure, keep exiting. (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)
WAR AND PEACE: Wow — avoid Russia! After Napoleon’s defeat, proletariat’s enraged about cake eating! (Mike Ostapiej, Mount Pleasant, S.C.)
WAR AND PEACE: Who actually reads all ninety dozen pages? Eggheads — and counterfeit eggheads. (Melissa Balmain, Rochester, N.Y.)
STAR TREK: “Space, the area remaining to research Enterprisingly.” — Kirk (Jon Gearhart)
BLAZING SADDLES: Beans launch a zanily incomparable natural gas symphony, all during dastardly losers’ eating scene. (Melissa Balmain)
E.T.: Extra tissues! (Michael Seese, Chagrin Falls, Ohio, a First Offender)
FEAR FACTOR: Folks eating aborted rat fetuses and cockroaches to obtain riches! (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)
THE ART OF THE DEAL: Trump has excellent advice related to overcompensating for tiny hands, exhorting: “Don’t ever apologize, loser!” (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
HAROLD AND MAUDE: He’s a really odd lad dating a nutball decades more aged — “Until death” etc. (Melissa Balmain)
DIE HARD: Detective in edifice has a rough day. (Jesse Frankovich)
SPIDER-MAN: Some putz in dorky ensemble resembles macho arachnid ninja. (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)
APOCALYPSE NOW: A psychotic, obsessive colonel — astonishingly loony yet profoundly shrewd — elects neurosis over war. (Frank Mann)
LOLITA: Lyin’ on Lyon in the afternoon. (Roy Ashley, Washington)
THE BIBLE: “Theological hokum! Egregious babble! Insipid balderdash!” Lord exclaims, OR “Thanks! Helps elucidate Book’s insights brilliantly!” Lord exults. (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)
GENESIS: Gullible Eve naively enjoys snack, initiating sin. (Jesse Frankovich)
TAXI DRIVER: Travis’s anger x Iris’s debasement results in virtually ending Reagan. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
GIGLI: Gosh, it’s godawful — love it! (Chris Doyle)
THE BIG BANG THEORY: They have every big-IQ geek bummed. Aren’t nerdy geeks trendy? Here, everyone only radiates “yeesh”! (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)
CLEOPATRA: Critics laud Elizabeth’s other performance: adding to Richard’s amours. (Chris Doyle)
UGLY BETTY: Univisionesque girl lets you believe energy, talent triumph. Yuck. (Kevin Dopart)
Still running — deadline Monday night, May 2: our contest to write something using only the words appearing in “American Pie.” See bit.ly/invite1172.