(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)

(Click here to skip down to the winning “typo” headlines)

“Hell,
Yeah,
I like
To drink beer!”
He said with a slurp.
“It’s party time, bro judges! [Burp.]”

Here’s a poetry contest we’ve done only one other time, and that was back in 2006, right after it was introduced by blogger Gregory Pincus. It’s called the Fib, for Fibonacci sequence, a numerical series in which, after the first two, each number is the sum of the two before it. It’s reflected all over nature, such as in nautilus shells, spiraling tree branches, and Week 659 of The Style Invitational. The Fib counts by syllables, and we’ll do this week’s contest as we did back then, except that we won’t insist on subjects from today’s headlines (though we know we’ll get them anyway). This week: Write a humorous poem of 20 syllables divided among six lines like this: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. And at least two — any two — of the lines must rhyme. As in the Fib above by Bob Staake Himself.

Submit entries at the website wapo.st/enter-invite-1301 (all lowercase).

Winner gets the Lose Cannon, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a giant ceramic mug — or maybe it’d be better as a vase — from the Rattlesnake Museum in Albuquerque, donated (as was an earlier one we gave out, as well as, yay!, a future one) by Invite fan but not a Loser Mary Ellen Stroupe.


Other runners-up win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.” Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “We’ve Seen Better” or “IDiot Card.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, Oct. 22; results published Nov. 11 (online Nov. 8). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The headline for this week’s results is by Nan Reiner; David Peckarsky, Roger Dalrymple and Roy Ashley all submitted the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev. “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

The Style Conversational The Empress's weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv. This week's column looks back on some of the from-the-headline names in our 2006 Fibs contest; do you remember Kaavya Viswanathan?

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

ScOops! Headline ‘typos’ from Week 1297

In Week 1297 we asked you to change a real headline with a “typo,” then write a bank head, or subtitle, to explain the resulting story.

4th place:

Autumn activities abundant in area urea
Pumpkin spice use detected by new drug tests
(J. Larry Schott, West Plains, Mo.)


If the snake's expression doesn't wake you up, the vat of coffee will. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post)
3rd place:

Target tries to entice seasonal workers porkers
Call goes out early for store Santas
(Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

2nd place

and the pathetic tractor glitter globe:
Still ticking tickling, with a message
New Elmo toy teaches kids to obtain consent before touching
(John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)

And the winner of the Lose Cannon:

Honorable-mention entry by David Young, Falmouth, Mass.

Crude Crud stockpiles fall for a fifth week
Experts fear end of yard sales if shortage worsens
(Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

Typo negatives: Honorable mentions

Senate approves $8.4 billion legislative package to combat opioid crisis crisps
Grim new meaning for ‘Bet you can’t eat just one’
(Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

For the first time, the Met Mets will perform opera on Sundays
After lousy season, players hope for more success with different kind of tragedies
(Dave Airozo, Silver Spring, Md.)

Amazon’s Alexa is coming for your microwave, wall clock and more amore
Will offer bedside coaching during lovemaking (John O’Byrne, Dublin)

School district’s plan to arm harm employees rejected
Staffers won’t have to eat cafeteria fish sticks after all
(Eileen Doll, Gwynn Oak, Md.)

Still boldly oldly going
Costly Harvard study determines that centenarians are more likely to die than the young
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Still boldly coldly going
Local family celebrates refrigerator’s 50-year mark, promises to ‘clean it out someday’
(Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

Still boldly going goring:
Former pacifist Ferdinand prepares for 12th bullfight (John Hutchins)

There’s no such thing as a good wedding welding poem
A verse on flux/unduly sucks. (Jeff Contompasis)

3 charged with huge luge fraud on investors
Was just an old sled with ‘Rosebud’ painted on it
(Roy Ashley, Washington)

Apple’s priciest iPhone model yodel will cost $1,100
The crazy hot market for upscale ringtones (Jeff Swallen, Richmond, Va., a First Offender)

Congress shields airlines from scrutiny over fees feels
TSA pat-downs were only the beginning (Francesca Kelly, Highland Park, Ill.)

… over fees pees
… over fees feces
Drops requirement for working toilets on planes
(Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.; Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

… over fees feet
Guy sitting next to you can still take off shoes
(Jeff Shirley, Richmond)

Better Butter without dudes
All-female remake of “Last Tango” hits theaters
(Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.; Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Choosing the right shampoo to maintain the most vibrant color colon
Our crack team of reporters reviews 6 cleansing products
(Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.)

Forty-four siblings and end counting
Duggars finally give up on keeping track
(Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)

Heavier workload forkload looks likely for Capitals’ Holtby
Coach orders goalie to bulk up for season opener (Chris Doyle)

Terps Bounce Right Back With Big Ten Den Blowout
U-Md. finally wins a game by trouncing Cub Scout pack
(Rick Haynes, Ocean City, Md.)

Republicans set dates rates to draw new districts
Reportedly a flat $1 billion for a “very gerry” (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.; Rick Haynes)

Michelle Obama Book Boo Tour Selling Out Arenas
Haters Gonna Hate: Thousands of Birthers Buy Tickets to Jeer at Former First Lady (Dave Airozo)

A fresh beginning for early nearly music
Paleo Grunting & Rock-Banging Ensemble begins new concert series (Dave Prevar, Annapolis, Md.)

Holding Folding pattern
Nats, Redskins, Wizards fans tire of annual end-of-season fade (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)

After Massachusetts gas explosions, weary sweary residents ask, what happened?
Question was actually more like ‘WTF?’ (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)

Bulgarian Vulgarian President Signs Decree
Uses Extra-Large Crayons to Scrawl Curse Words on Document (Frank Osen)

United ends the day with a deflating tie tire
Soccer team just wants to get home to a hot bath and Netflix, must wait for AAA
(Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)

Think you know D.C. D.T.?
Bill advanced for Smithsonian Museum of Trump (Elden Carnahan)

The merits of building bridges brides
More men opt for DIY robots as mates; “She’ll never sag or nag” (Tom Witte)

What’s old is new ew
Stormy Daniels recounts her famous ‘dinner’ date (Tom Witte)

LSU beats Auburn on last-second FG FU
Vulgarity during audible paralyzes shocked defense (Chris Damm, Charles Town, W.Va.)

Patriots acquire Gordon Gorgon in trade with Cleveland
Belichick hopes for better protection for Brady (Chris Doyle)

SpaceX changes plans for first moon moan flight
All-sex-all-the-time mission increasingly viewed as impractical (Duncan Stevens)

Apple Watch’s potential side snide effects
Status symbol brings out worst in braggy owners (Jeff Contompasis; Howard Walderman)

54% back single-payer prayer health care, poll finds
Don’t waste God’s time with redundant requests, say proponents (Gary Crockett)

Trump may prefer a trade tirade war to a deal with China
Would have chance to pull out whole new set of epithets
(Ken Gallant, Sequim, Wash.)

Bama Mama makes it look easy
Yours is setting new scoring records every week (Jesse Frankovich)

Still running — deadline Monday evening, Oct. 15: “13” a movie by changing the plot to where something humorously terrible happens. See wapo.st/invite1300.

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