(Click here to skip down to this week’s winning neologisms from ScrabbleGrams racks)
[S]NOW WHITE: Donald Trump, following an extensive crackdown on brown-skinned immigrants, declares the United States the fairest of them all.
LA LA LA[nd]: In the first round of singing auditions, a musical’s casting director tries blocking out the sound.
CINDER[ella]: At midnight, the coach doesn’t turn into a pumpkin — it blows up. Whoops!
Style Invitational First-Ballot-Lock Future Hall of Famer Duncan Stevens suggested this week’s contest, a variation of one we did in 2015 with song titles.
This week: Delete one or more letters from the beginning or end (or both) of a movie title and describe the resulting movie, as in Duncan’s own examples above. As in all those examples, it helps if the description somehow relates to the original movie. A clever, funny description is key this week; it’s highly likely that some other Losers will chop a title the same way you did.
Submit entries at wapo.st/enter-invite-1323 (all lowercase).
Winner gets the Lose Cannon, our Style Invitational trophy.
Second prize is quite the artifact: It dates from the earliest days of the Empress’s reign; finally, almost 800 columns later, she figures it’s time to give it away. It’s a custom-designed roll of toilet paper promoting the release of the novel “Walter the Farting Dog: Trouble at the Yard Sale,” “on sale March 29, 2004.” So why this week? It turns out that, after a fizzled effort in 2011, there’s another plan to bring the best-selling Walter series to cinematic glory — and so at least right this second there’s some tenuous link between this ancient (but wrapped) roll of TP and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. The E will also toss in a roll of Trump toilet paper, donated recently by Howard Walderman.
Other runners-up win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “We’ve Seen Better” or “IDiot Card.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, March 25; results published April 14 (online April 11). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The headline for this week’s results is by Danielle Nowlin (great week, Danielle!); Jesse Frankovich wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev. “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.
The Style Conversational The Empress's weekly online column, published late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv.
FIT TO BE TILED: SCRABBLEGRAMS NEOLOGISMS FROM WEEK 1319
In Week 1319, the Empress once again presented several dozen seven-letter “racks” used in the ScrabbleGrams word game, which appears daily in The Post, and asked you to find new terms of five, six or seven letters.
ACILRTU > ARTICUL: A story that shouldn’t have made the cut. “Let’s jussie how this articul plays out.” (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)
ADEEHST > HEADEST: What the president is. “I’m the head of the country, the most headest of any country, believe me.” (Sean Bender-Prouty, Arlington, Va.)
and the Mason jar of Ghanaian shito sauce:
ADFHLNU > ANDUH: Filler used to stretch your essay when you run out of things to say. “Try to avoid such anduh as ‘In conclusion, it has become clear that all people of reason can surely agree that . . . ’ ” (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)
DDEELMR > MEDDLR: App designed for yentas to make dating profiles for other people. (Danielle Nowlin)
ACIPRVY > CA PRIVY: Many a side street in San Francisco. (Lynne Larkin, Glenn Dale, Md.)
ACIPRVY > RACY VIP: Jeff Bezos’s new Twitter handle. (George Thompson, Springfield, Va., a First Offender)
ACIPRVY > IVYCRAP: “If I hear any more Ivycrap from Mr. I-Went-to-Princeton, I’m going to throw up!” (John Shea, Philadelphia)
ACKLORW > OWLRACK: A bosom that makes men’s heads spin around. (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)
ACKLORW > ROCK LAW: “Everybody must get stoned!” (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
ACKLORW > ACK ROW: The seats way up front in a theater with a three-story-high screen. (Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.)
ADDFINY > NADDIFY: Mold into a suggestive shape. “Who naddified my snowman?” (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
ADEEHST> SHADEE: Upscale Slurpee with a cocktail parasol. (George Thompson)
ADEELMR > ELDERAM: An old butthead. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
ADEELMR > MR. DEAL: Does not necessarily translate into Mr. President. (Roger Dalrymple)
AEFGLOW > A. WE FLOG: First step in the new “Tracking Down White House Leakers” manual. (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)
ADFLNSY > FLY-NADS: Clinical name for a tragic injury involving one’s jeans zipper. (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis)
ADLMORU > MR. DOULA: He offers emotional support to fathers during childbirth. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
ADLMORU > UM, ORAL?: What they didn’t mean for you to enter when they put a box for “Sex” on the questionnaire. (Danielle Nowlin)
AEEELRS > EEL-ARSE: One of the less popular sushi delicacies. (Jeff Shirley)
AEEELRS > EELERS: Pro fishing team from Pittsburgh. (David Peckarsky, Tucson)
AEEOPRT > EATROPE: Hashtag for hemp recipes. “Gwyneth Paltrow is a #EatRope aficionado.” (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.)
AEFGLOW > WEGOLF: Presidential plan of action for an international crisis. (Rob Cohen, Potomac, Md.)
AEFGLOW > WOLFAGE: Food, as seen by teenage boys. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)
AEHMRST > HA TERMS: Kim’s view of U.S. offers. (Dan Helming, Trenton, N.J.)
AEHPRTY > ‘HEY’ TRAP: Why your mom told you not to turn your head when a guy calls at you. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.)
AEILNVY > AIL-ENVY: Wishing you’d caught the flu at the office rather than sit through another staff meeting. (David Peckarsky)
AELMNRU > LEARNUM: The teaching of Latin in West Virginia. (John Hutchins, Silver Spring)
AELMNRU > MENULAR: Adept at waiting tables. “The server was so menular that she could recite 15 specials without looking at her notes.” (Zachary Levine, Rockville, Md.)
AELMNRU > MARELUN: Its largest city is Ballmer. (Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Md.)
AELMNRU > MANRULE: He-gemony. (Chris Doyle)
AENOUUV > EAU NO: Gah! You have to have a closed-door meeting with the guy with the too-strong cologne! (Danielle Nowlin)
AEOPSTZ > EZ TOP: A cover band with fake long beards. (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio)
AEOPSTZ > OZ TAPES: Just-discovered scandalous video of Miss Piggy and a Munchkin. (Dave Airozo, Silver Spring, Md.)
AGMNSTU > MAGNUTS: His base. (Jeff Lubbers, Takoma Park, Md.)
AGMNSTU > MAN-TUGS: What got Robert Kraft into trouble (Jeff Shirley)
AGMNSTU > MUSTNAG: Popular name for Areweth-Ereyet syndrome. (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)
AGMNSTU > SUMTANG: John Fogerty’s rendition of a song written by George Harrison. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)
AGMNSTU> MANGST: Boyfriend worries. (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)
AHHIKSW > HIKSHAW: Trailer made from an old pickup bed. (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)
DEEEKNW > ENDWEEK: Jan. 13-19, 2021. (Holding our breath.) (Jesse Etelson, Rockville, Md.)
DDEELMR > MERDEL: The traditional French award for being number two in a competition. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
DDEHIRS > SHERDID: The proper response when someone asks if something blowed up real good. (Frank Osen)
DDENOSS > DE-DON: What 6 in 10 Americans would like to do in 2020. (Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.)
DDGHOOO > DOG DOH: You stepped in it. (Warren Tanabe, Annapolis, Md.)
DDGHOOO > DOGHOOD: The stage of life when all you want to do is to be petted and fed. “My husband seems to have regressed into chronic doghood.” (Neal Starkman, Seattle)
DEFILPU > PLED FU: How Roger Stone responded to criminal charges. (Ed Neveleff, Rockville, Md., a First Offender)
DEMORST > MR. T.’S ODE: “Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and I pity the foo.” (Jesse Frankovich)
EEFHORT > TROFEE: Top prize at the misspelling bee. (Jesse Frankovich)
EEFHORT > HO FETE: A model railroad fair that inadvertently drew the wrong crowd. (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)
EEFMNOR > NOREF: Super Bowl officiating team. (Drew Bennett)
EEFMNOR > ROMEN: Spaghetti made with a pack of Japanese noodles. (Chris Doyle)
EEORSST > TREE-O’S: A brand of VERY high-fiber breakfast cereal. (Tom Witte)
DDGHOOO > DOH-GOOD: He has the best of intentions, but he always screws it up somehow. (Gary Crockett)
DEEKNW: KNEWED: Was aware. “Cletus knewed those overalls was ready to fall off.” (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)
AGMNSTU > MAGNUTS: Style Invitational Losers. “Many magnuts work 10 days straight trying to win something to stick on the fridge.” (Chris Doyle, who works 10 days straight and doesn’t even want any more magnets)
Still running — deadline Monday night, March 18: Our contest for ideas for inventions that still need a bug or two worked out. See wapo.st/invite1322.
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