In D.C. Dream Day, we ask our favorite people in the area to tell us how they would spend a perfect day in the District. See previous dream days from Mayor Muriel Bowser, BYT’s Svetlana Legetic, D.C. United’s Steve Birnbaum and more.
“What do you do?” When faced with that classic D.C. question, Brian Feldman tries to change the subject. “It’s hard to explain, because there’s no one else doing anything like this,” he says. The performance artist has been bringing oddball experiences to D.C. audiences since he arrived here in 2012 — such as hosting a Shabbat dinner in a Wawa and reciting monologues while washing dishes in people’s homes. His current show, “The Feldman Dynamic: 8 Wards of Chanukah” (through Sunday), consists entirely of his family having holiday dinners in front of live audiences in each of D.C.’s wards. His parents and sister join him and light candles and talk to each other like they normally would, except they’re onstage in front of people who have paid $25 each to watch. His D.C. dream day is as unexpected as you might expect.
I would wake up super early, get my running shoes on and I’d have my driver take me down to West Potomac Park, where I’d run a 5K. After I cross the finish line, I’ll check the results to see that I set a new personal record — it would definitely be sub-25 minutes.
At the finish line, there would be a special table set up with my favorite breakfast items from all over D.C.
I’d have a quick shower and then go to Shabbat services at Adas Israel. The co-rabbis there — Rabbi [Lauren] Holtzblatt and Rabbi [Aaron] Alexander — are really special. Afterwards, I’d head to the Uptown Theater and “E.T.” would be playing. Yes, I would be crying by the end of it.
Inspired by the movie, I’d get an e-CaBi [an electric-assist Capital Bikeshare bike] and ride it up and down the hills of Northwest, humming the John Williams score. Then I’d rush down to the Kennedy Center, since it’s time to meet my family, “The Feldman Dynamic,” for dinner on the Millennium Stage, where they can share with me what they’ve done during the day. We’d have a bunch of food from NuVegan Cafe — barbecue tofu, vegan mac and cheese, kale and some kind of pie for dessert.
After the show, I’d go with friends to see a performance by darlingdance, which is my favorite feminist postmodern dance company in town, or dog & pony dc, my favorite devised theater company in town. Or we’d go see whatever is playing at Woolly Mammoth.
Then my driver would take us to the Source Theatre, where we’d catch the second set of Washington Improv Theater’s “Harold Night.”
After the improv, we’d go read all the front pages at the Newseum and make sure to pass by the Temperance Fountain on the way, so I can reminisce about the time I spent 99 days there drinking a bottle of root beer by myself. Then we’d go to the U.S. Botanic Garden Conservatory, which they’d open after hours especially for us, and we’d hang out in the tropics area.
I’d have my driver take me to my bank and I’d withdraw $10,000 in cash and spend the night distributing it to everyone sleeping on the sidewalks.