WE KNOW YOU WANTED to go out of town and enjoy the beaches of Delaware or North Carolina before the unofficial end of summer on Tuesday. You wanted to stroll the boardwalk in your seersucker suit before you put it away for the winter.

But you can’t. Because this is the season of the staycation, and you’re poor just like everyone else. They’re even taking away your Metro this weekend. But you must fight back! Don’t sit in your house! This is Labor Day weekend, during which we avoid labor at all costs and embrace excess and hedonism — within reason. Don’t do anything you’ll be sad to see Facebook pictures of on Tuesday.

We’ve got your whole weekend planned out — and we’ll try to save you as much cash as possible. Try this:

» Jazz in the Garden
Start off the weekend on Friday evening with the second-to-last jazzy evening in the National Sculpture Garden. Bring a bottle of three-buck chuck and any friends you can find who would rather drink and sit on grass than work in an office at 5:30 on a Friday. That should be most of them.

The music is provided by jazz guitarist Phil Mathieu this week, but it’s really all about sitting on the grass and drinking either the bad wine you brought or the sangria you can pick up in the garden.

» Labor Day Capitol Concert
It’s a good thing you slept all day Saturday, because your Sunday is going to be exhausting. First, get cultured with the National Symphony Orchestra‘s free concert on the West Lawn of the Capitol, where you can hear a selection of American greats — some Broadway pieces, music from movies like “Gone With the Wind” and “Star Wars,” a little Copland and a lot of Americana. Then, put on your glow stick shoes and head over to…

» DJ Dredd’s Michael Jackson vs. Prince Dance Party
Hell yes. DJ Dredd, pictured above, is back at the Black Cat on Sunday night with his usual long-weekend routine: DANCE PARTY BATTLE. It’s not free, but what price awesome? $15 at the door, apparently. But if your feet aren’t feeling the lure of the dance, you can hit up…

» Midtown Lounge’s Labor Day Blowout
This is more of a generic party lounge experience than the Black Cat dance party, but it’s hard to argue with free beer and appetizers on the 3rd floor between 8 p.m. and 9 p.m. Or with $20 beer buckets. Or with the spinning prowess of DJ Saam.

Photo by Michael Temchine/The Washington Post