Holding a fashion show in a room with hallways the size of Karlie Kloss’s forearms might seem foolhardy, but considering that 1) this is DC Fashion Week and 2) most models can fit in a Smart Car without claustrophobic impulses, we conclude that a fashion show at Tabaq probably made perfect sense during the planning stages.

With only a few seats, mostly occupied by the 20 or so local beauty queens (really, how many pageants does one not-even-a-state need?) the standing room-only Wolf vs. Goat show is hot, sticky and crowded — even before DC United shows up.

“Is this ’80s porn music?,” somebody whispers. (Correction: We whisper.) Then the men’s shirts start coming off. “Under Pressure” plays, and we feel like we’re at our middle school dances, except that nobody at our middle school dances had biceps like that.

Oh yes, but there was a collection! Yes. That’s why we’re here.

Designer and Washington native Mauro Farinelli‘s Spring 2011 collection is preppy filtered through both “Oliver Twist” and brightly colored sweets. “I’m obsessed with Skittles,” he says. “D.C. and NY can be very boring with all black or khaki. I like to add pops of color.”

And he certainly did, transforming imported fabrics into handmade-in-the-U.S.A. shirts and bespoke suits offering the perfect fit we really enjoyed seeing on the DC United players Farinelli employed as runway candy. Also, there was a onesie.

Some other models were there, too. But after an awkward “So which agency do you work for?”-here’s-my-card interaction, Express suffers the painful “I’m only 17. I have school in the morning” blow that brought us back to the mission at hand.

In conclusion:

SEERSUCKER! PEGGED PANTS! FIN DE SIECLE SWIMWEAR! When Farinelli brings back the handlebar mustache, we’ll be behind him 110 percent.

With Express’ Fiona Zublin
Photos courtesy Wolf vs. Goat