She might not be running for office, but America’s favorite Mama Grizzly is everywhere lately. Her new reality show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” premiered Nov. 14, and her new book, “America by Heart,” will be released Tuesday by HarperCollins. Palin spoke to Express about her new projects — at least we think she did. Honestly, something was a little off.

Good afternoon, Ms. Palin. We really appreciate your speaking with us — the mainstream media and all.
The Express is at the top of my list of news publications I don’t read.

Thanks. That’s quite a compliment.

Your new book, “America by Heart: Reflections on Faith, Family and Flag,” is due out next week. What inspired you to write it?
Well, I wanted to do my part to stimulate the economy. You can find it in the biography section of your nearest Wal-Mart. Or the science fiction section. For some strange reason, that’s where former president George W. Bush’s new book keeps popping up, too.

As a … woman, what do you think is the biggest obstacle for women in politics?
I’d have to say the spike heels. President Obama can talk the talk, but I’d like to see him work a debate in these puppies.

Those are some big heels. What size are those, anyway?
Well, you know what they say.

Um, moving on: What advice do you have for women in Washington making careers in politics?
My advice is to get a youngster to run your Twitter account. But don’t favorite anything
Ann Coulter posts, no matter how funny it is.

Do you have anything in common with Nancy Pelosi?
Other than indoor plumbing, absolutely nothing. Wait, make that absolutely nothing.

I’m starting to suspect that you are not the real Sarah Palin.
I might be a drag queen, honey, but I’m about as close to reality as this new TV show is.

(Philip Gerlach performs as Sarah Palin and Queen Bambi at fundraisers for organizations including Food & Friends. You can find him on Facebook at

Photo by Marge Ely/Express