Oh dear, you’ve done it again! You put off holiday shopping for so long, Christmas is a couple days away — literally, two. All that’s on the shelves now are beer holsters and massage slippers, and you’ll never forget the look on your wife’s face last year when you gave her the “gift of more time.” Keep out of the dog house this year by picking up one of these unique gustatory gifts. These smelly cheeses, blossoming teas, nostalgic sweets, hand-crafted jams and complex winter ales will dare anyone to call your presents last-minute.

Snack Back
For
: Your grown-up brothers, sisters, cousins and friends.
Put on your favorite CD, pretend it’s a mixtape and bring back childhood memories over a plate of fresh baked goods from Ted’s Bulletin. Twinkies, Snoballs, Oatmeal Creme Pies, Pop Tarts and other perennial kiddie favorites recall the days when you were the gift-getter and that three-page Christmas list was all about you.

WHERE AND WHEN TO PICK UP:
» Ted’s Bulletin, 505 8th St SE; 202-544-8337.


Custom Suds
For
: Your non-homebrewing, beer-loving husband.
Greg Engert, beer director of Neighborhood Restaurant Group, hand picked some of the finest, most complex winter beers as a “liquid present to fans.” Seasonal six-packs ($25) include Schlafly Christmas Ale, Mahr’s Christmas Bock and Oppigards Winter Ale. Or, gift-hunters can choose from two sets of three-packs in large format bottles ($40). Maybe you should have picked up that beer holster after all.

WHERE AND WHEN TO PICK UP:
» Planet Wine, 2000 Mt. Vernon Avenue, Alexandria; 703-549-3444; Open Christmas Eve.

Tea Time
For
: Your son who just returned from a year in London — with a British accent.
Flowering Teas from Ping Pong Dim Sum are the perfect conversation starter for Anglophiles and tea aficionados. Made from the finest organic teas, these rare, hand-tied buds open up in hot water to reveal a blooming flower. A box of nine green tea buds includes red amaranth, osmanthus, jasmine and lily, dragon eye, and jasmine pearls.
WHERE AND WHEN TO PICK UP:
» Ping Pong Dim Sum, 900 7th St. NW; 202- 506-3740; Open Christmas Eve.

Jam On It:
For: The best hostess you and your friends could ever ask for — your wife.
Line the pantry with sets of Copper Pot Food Company’s new artisanal jam samplers. Each set includes three 4 oz. jars of hand-crafted jams made from locally cultivated produce. For a flavor punch, the Signature Jam Sampler groups best-selling flavors such as blackberry ginger, strawberry and vanilla bean, and orchard fresh apple. The sweet peach, nectarine and grape-based spreads in the Spirit’ed Jams Sampler get a kick from bellini, bourbon and grappa, respectively. And the Cheese Accoutrements sampler set is a texturized complement to any cheese with white fig and balsamic, red beet and rhubarb, and quince cinnamon jams.

WHERE AND WHEN TO PICK UP:
» Dupont Circle Market, 1500 20th St. NW; Sundays, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.
» Penn Quarter Farmer’s Market, D and 8th streets NW; Thursdays,
3-7 p.m.

» Cowgirl Creamery, 919 F St. NW; 202-393-6880. Open Christmas Eve.
» Red Truck Bakery, 22 Waterloo St., Old Town Warrenton, Va.; 540-347-2224. Open Christmas Eve.

Smell Bads
For
: Your daughter who just turned 18 and inherited your wife’s stunning looks.
No need to be a shotgun dad, give her the gift of solitude with the Stinky Cheese Basket from Cork Market & Tasting Room. Brimming with the world’s most prized yet pungent cheeses, the basket includes local options such as Grayson, a Virginia raw cow’s milk cheese, and Cowgirl Creamery’s Red Hawk, made with organic milk produce at by the creamery. The basket may also include Taleggio, a pungent cow’s milk cheese from Italy and Napoleon’s favorite — Epoisses de Bourgogne — which is so offensive, it’s been banned from French public transport.

WHERE AND WHEN TO PICK UP:
» Cork Market & Tasting Room, 1805 14th St. NW; 202-265-2674; Open Christmas Eve.

Written by Express contributor Mary Kong