The Washington Post

When I Say Caribbean You Think Beaches, Palm Trees… Enhanced Security?

“If D.C. continues to host the Caribbean Festival, which began in 1993 and over the years has grown into a 25-band, 300,000-participant spectacle, you better believe that SECURITY WILL HAVE THE ENTIRE EVENT IN LOCKDOWN.” thinks the city needs to get the security under control at the annual parade, after there were shootings and a mass brawl along the route last weekend.

PAT ROBERTSON SEEMS TO THINK that the Aztecs, the Romans, the Ottomans, the Mongols and the Native Americans were all pretty gay, otherwise they would still be here.” points out the lack of logic in the televangelist’s official comment to N.Y.’s same-sex marriage law, in which Robertson said “There isn’t one single civilization that has survived that openly embraced homosexuality. So you say, ‘what’s going to happen to America?” Well if history is any guide, the same thing’s going to happen to us.”

HOW OVER IS MYSPACE? So over that even the guys who founded it can’t be bothered to update their profiles.” predicts the imminent demise of the social networking site, ahead of News Corp.’s rumored sale for as low as $20 million.

“The truth is the FIZZY CHEMICAL COCKTAIL can still do a number on your health, and it may be time to rethink your commitment to being comprised of 70% Diet Coke.” breaks down a new study by doctors at the University of Texas – San Antonio, found that diet drinks and artificial sweeteners increase people’s waistlines and increase their risk of diabetes.

Clinton Yates is a D.C. native and an online columnist. When he's not covering the city, pop culture or listening to music, he watches sports. A lot of them.
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