This is absolutely what everyone at Express looks like.

“The Rum Diary,” starring Johnny Depp, opensh thish weekend. Ish about rum — and maybe newspapersh. Maybe we should allll have some more rum! Always drinking. And writing. Journalism! Alcohol!

Tequila Sunrise
Michelle Pfeiffer balances pre-crazy Mel Gibson and cop Kurt Russell in this sexy 1988 crime thriller that does not involve grenadine, thank goodness.

Days of Wine and Roses
Jack Lemmon seems like such a nice guy in this sobering (get it?) 1962 look at addiction. And then he introduces teetotaler Lee Remick to Demon Alcohol and, well, things don’t turn out so good.

Mickey Rourke stars in this 1987 film (which also stars Alice Krige, who also played the Borg Queen) that makes you never, ever, ever want to drink again. It’s like AA in cinema form.

Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church rage against the Merlot on a raucous trip through California wine country in this 2004 film that earned five Oscar nominations and one win (for its screenplay).

Tom Cruise’s business-driven bartender will get there fast and then he’ll take it slow in 1988’s love letter to loud clubs, neon fashion and getting drunk on sandy beaches.