Next Wednesday at 9:30 p.m., ABC launches its new sitcom, “Don’t Trust the B… in Apt 23.” In episode one, Chloe, the titular “B” (Krysten Ritter, left) has sex with the fiancé of June, her earnest roomie. In the heat of passion, Chloe ends up on top of June’s birthday cake.

She scams new roomies by driving them crazy till they leave, then keeps their deposit. She walks out of a bar without paying (“hard times” is her rationale) and eats yogurt while naked to titillate a neighbor.

She has a bitchy track record, too. Her ex-boyfriend is James Van Der Beek, playing a goofball version of himself. He and Chloe met when she sold him a condo — only it turns out the owners were just on vacation.

Chloe appears to be the bitchiest bitch in sitcom history. Or is she? It’s revealed that her motive in the fiancé seduction was to show June that her husband-to-be is a letch. June is profoundly grateful.

So the B is, in fact, a moral relativist! Why use the “B” word, ABC? Perhaps because the network’s in-house philosopher advised, no one will watch a show called “Don’t Trust the M.R. in Apt 23.”