Not being a teenager, I did not tune in to “Awkward,” the show about cool but socially awkward teens, during its first season on MTV. But there’s so much buzz about the second season (starting at 10:30 tonight) that I decided to watch a Season 1 marathon to catch up. Here’s what I learned.

1. TV teens still REALLY REALLY care about school dances.

2. TV teens can say the word “bitch” aloud but other vulgar words are bleeped.

3. TV teens blog in a derivative way. Charmingly angsty Jenna (Ashley Rickards, top) writes: “I’m confused. I didn’t know if I should listen to my head or my heart.” OMG, you know she totally stole that from Carrie Bradshaw!

4. TV teens should get a kickback from iTunes. When a song is played during “Awkward,” its title and artist’s name appear onscreen so real teens can download it, like, right away.

5. TV teen shows are brought to you by sex. Products pitched during “Awkward” include a “high-energy fat burning” substance (“It’s great to be thin”); a pack of gum that splits into two mini-packs that fit “almost anywhere” in case you need to “practice safe breath”; and condoms — “a girl’s best friend.”