Critics say ABC’s “Nashville” (Wednesdays, 10 p.m.) is so entertaining that even if you don’t like country music, you’ll enjoy this drama about 40-something country singer Rayna (Connie Britton), whose star is fading, and her rival, the young upstart singer (and sexpot) Juliette (Hayden Panettiere, above).

Dear critics, with all due respect, THE ENTIRE SHOW IS LIKE A COUNTRY SONG! If Rayna were to sing it, it’d go something like this:

My husband’s flat broke and we’re goin’ into debt

Few tickets have been sold to my tour as of yet

They want me to open for lil’


I’m disgusted!

Juliette is a nymphomaniac

Her mom’s on crystal meth (at least it’s not crack)

This new country world is totally whack

Can’t be trusted!

Then there’s shy waitress Scarlett at the Bluebird Café

She writes “poems” and sings ’em one day

This alt-country babe sounds like a sad angel — oy vey!

I’m busted!