broadcastmuse

Morrissey, described as a “militant vegan” singer, canceled his “Jimmy Kimmel Live” appearance because the guest list included the bearded, unkempt stars of A&E’s reality series “Duck Dynasty,” whom he called “animal serial killers” because they sell stuff that helps people hunt ducks.

Yet a lot of people like “Duck Dynasty.” The show’s back for season three (Wednesdays, 10 p.m.), and the premiere drew a record 8.6 million viewers — beating “Modern Family” and “American Idol” in the coveted 18-to-49 demo.

If you’ve not watched “DD” but would nonetheless like to form an opinion about it, take this quiz:

1. Do you cry when you hear doves called the “filet mignon of the sky”?

2. Would your eyeballs be scarred by a fat man in camouflage tights doing yoga?

3. Are you dismayed when a wife declares: “A good wife will support her husband no matter what”?

4. Is it cruel to call a dog “defective” for failing to properly retrieve slain doves?

If you answered “yes” to all questions, tune in to the Morrissey hit “Meat Is Murder.” If you answered “no,” dig into a tasty filet o’ dove.