Usher is a new judge on “The Voice” (NBC, Mon. and Tue. at 8 p.m.). In an interview with Jimmy Fallon, the singer said viewers might be surprised by his sense of humor, announcing: “I’m the new Larry David, I’m like black Larry David.”

But when you watch the show, Usher says things to aspiring singers like, “As everybody squabbles over you, I’ll be the person to say you are shocking and you sing with such conviction and passion.” Usher, Usher, Usher. That is not very “Larry David” at all.

Here are examples of what you might say to live up to your self-description, drawn from the comic stylings of the old, white Larry David:

To a really bad singer: “When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.”

To a very nervous singer: “Stay with the panic. Embrace the panic.”

To a self-confident bald male singer: “Women love a self-confident bald man.”

To a singer about whom he has reservations: “I have reservations about everything you do.”

To a pretty good singer: “Pretty good. Pret-ty, pret-ty, pret-ty good.”