Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner had a syndicated talk show this summer (which ended last Friday and got canceled Wednesday, according to Radar Online). “The Kris Jenner Show” aired in cities like New York and Los Angeles, but D.C. was Kris-free. Perhaps you’re curious: What qualified Kris to host a talk show? Let me tell you:

Kris’ permanently frozen face: Guests could freely talk to her without fear of a judgmental Oprah-like stare.

Kris is honest: “I’m commando right now. Panties are overrated. Sometimes you just don’t want to have them on.”

Kris has a krazy friend Kym who demonstrated beauty tips like brushing hair with placenta to make it shine.

Kris is a master of hype. On her Facebook page: “Our finale can’t be described adequately in a sentence.”

If you missed the finale, I would like to offer a sentence that adequately describes it: Guest and potential son-in-law Kanye West refers to his slightly younger self as “a crazy drunk black guy in a leather shirt,” giggles (!) and pimps out his child with Kris’ daughter Kim by showing the first public photo of baby North West in a blatant ploy to create buzz about granny’s talk show.