Next Up: The Dangers of Oversized Novelty Checks

Often the most useful information on local television news is which household item is most likely to kill you. (If the bathtub doesn’t, the tap water will.) But it was thanks to local TV reporting on an unclaimed lottery ticket that Alexandria’s Karen Gentry collected $100,000 just four hours before her ticket expired on Oct. 29, according to the Virginia Lottery.


Ronald McDonald Enters the Witness Protection Program

Either the Hamburglar unmasked is not what we expected McDonald’s Most Wanted to look like, or the meat thief has some new recruits. According to WUSA-9, last month two women stole $500 worth of hamburger, steak and other meats from a Giant in Frederick, Md. At press time, the two were still at large.


Also: Windshield Replaced With Giant Clown Glasses

It’s the thought that counts, but this particular thought could have been more logical. A thief who stole a wheel off of a Pontiac G6 in Manassas, Va., last month considerately replaced it with a square concrete downspout drain, Manassas police said. While the drain prevented the car from resting on the ground, it (obviously) rendered it undriveable.