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Rusty vs. Bao Bao … in song!

Play Panda Smackdown Duet



Why does everyone love that Bao Bao?

I’m pretty sure she’ll bite

I wish we’d named her Mulan instead

And infringed on Disney’s copyright

A red panda like me

Would make a much better pet

You could fit me in a cat carrier

And take me to the vet

Giant Pandas, they will make you a sad sack

You fall in love, then China takes ’em back

Bao Bao:

Rusty’s famous for hating humans

He scorned your admiration

He took off into Rock Creek Park

So why do you have this strange fixation?

I’m a Chinese mystery

I nobly poop bamboo

I’m polite, chaste and awe-inspiring

I make the tourists coo

Red panda, you’re a faker, you’re just a cut-rate fox

I’m the zoo’s rainmaker and we all know money talks.

Rusty: Chaste? Your parents watched porn to breed

Bao Bao: Thanks to Twitter, the Zoo had you treed

Rusty: At least I know how to have some fun

Bao Bao: You’ll never be a favorite if you’re always on the run


Why are we fighting?

We’re both hella-cute

If we join forces

We can give the naked mole rats the boot