The world is a strange place, which is why Blog Log is so necessary. Below, you’ll find a roundup of some of the best recent online chatter. Do you have a subject you think deserves a shout-out? Comment below or tweet us @WaPoExpress.
“Enter the best religion of all time: Yeezianity.” — Eric Sundermann at noisey.vice.com introduces a new spiritual following that bases its tenets on … Kanye West? Yes. The five tenets, which include, “Man possesses the power to create everything he wants and needs” and “All human suffering exists to stimulate the creative powers of Man” began when one man, who chose to remain anonymous when Sundermann contacted him, tweeted out his views. It became Internet-famous, however, when the man posted about it on Craigslist. And no, this is not a joke. The dude just really, really likes West.
“The intricately planned message took Murphy M. 80 minutes, a 1,371-foot gain in elevation, and 749 calories.” — Jenny Xie at theatlanticcities.com describes the efforts of one San Francisco man who wanted to propose to his girlfriend. “Murphy M.” used the route-tracking app Strava to record his bike route, which made a heart with the question “Marry me Emily?” inside. She said “yes.”
“I need 3 of these…I don’t care how much my cats will hate me for it.” — commenter Heather S. at huffingtonpost.com reacts to a post about “cat armor.” Sold on Etsy (of course) by a seller named “Schnabuble,” the outfit won’t protect your cat against anything, especially the Internet’s laughs. The leather suits aren’t cheap either — they start at £314.09, or roughly $513.
“Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited.” — commenter C. Torok at amazon.com describes his bout with extreme flatulence after eating part of a five-pound bag of Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears. (Torok gave them one star.) Torok’s review from 2012, along with several others for the product, went viral earlier this week after bloggers discovered the actual safety warning attached to the product: “Consumption of some sugar-free candies can cause stomach discomfort and/or laxative effect.”