Thanks, TLC, for stimulating the winter TVscape with “Sex Sent Me to the ER,” a show about people who went to the ER on account of having sex. (The series ended Jan. 18 but repeats on Saturdays at 10 p.m.)
Like all high-minded reality shows, “Sex” is hilariously entertaining for viewers who enjoy laughing at the misfortunes of others and also teaches vital life lessons, to wit:
Take it easy, guys, especially if you weigh more than 400 pounds. You could accidentally push your lover’s head through the wall.
Take it easy, ladies. Extremely aggressive coupling could bend a penis backward and fracture it. (This rare but real problem is described by Reviews in Urology as “the traumatic rupture of the tunica albuginea.”)
Extremely intense sexual activity can affect the nerves going to your ears and produce temporary deafness. Add extreme heat and you could pass out.
If your lover says, “That could be a great tree to have sex in,” for the love of Mother Nature, say no. Limbs can snap. Also: splinters!
After watching this show, I will say: Just call me Mr. Celibate.