Russia’s Ekaterina Bobrova and Russia’s Dmitri Soloviev perform in the Figure Skating Team Ice Dance Short Dance at the Sochi Winter Olympics. (Yuri Kadobnov/AFP/Getty Images)

Some people think the Winter Olympics are boring. Not true! NBC’s telecast offers a refrigerator full of food for deep thoughts:

Many Olympians have a “signature move.” Is it too late for me to get one?

Why is that thing when ice dancers turn on one foot called a “twizzle”?

Russia’s ice dancers, pictured above, danced to “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.” Wouldn’t Lenin have preferred the classic Soviet anthem, “A Hammer and a Sickle Are a Babushka’s Best Comrades?”

U.S. snowboarder Chas Guldemond has a mental coach who “asks him how he’s doing all the time.” Where can I find such a coach because I REALLY NEED ONE!?

Could Canada and the U.S. merge their teams into “CanAmerica,” so both nations have more athletes to cheer for?

NBC host Bob Costas believes it’d “take a weeklong [opening] ceremony to touch on every aspect” of Russian culture because “there’s a lot of it.” Yet Leo Tolstoy wrote: “All we can know is that we know nothing” — which would seem to argue for a 60-second opening act. Can we ask Putin to weigh in?