Lindsay Lohan stars in her own docu-series, “Lindsay,” on OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network)

Lindsay Lohan, above, who vows to be “honest” in “docu-series” “Lindsay” (10 p.m., Sundays on OWN), proclaims:

“There’s no party that I haven’t gone to.”

“There’s no person that I haven’t hung out with.”

“There’s no situation that I haven’t … been exposed to.”

Lindsay Lohan, you lie!

You did not come to my daughter’s sixth birthday party, in which we did a scavenger hunt for empty vodka bottles and cigarette butts.

People I’m reasonably certain you’ve never hung out with: Dolly Parton, the Dalai Lama, Lorenzo Lamas, Dr. Laura, Dr. Seuss.

You were not exposed to the situation when I was HAVING A SITUATION and I really needed someone to be exposed to that situation but you NEVER SHOWED UP so I think that’s a situation you’ve never been exposed to.

You are also wrong when you say: “I know this is my last shot at doing what I love to do.” The endless fascination that Hollywood (and OWN impresario Oprah Winfrey) has with fallen celebrities will enable you to continue doing what you love to do until the next fallen celebrity bumps you out of the fallen celebrity spotlight.