My junior prom is coming up, and I’ve decided that, rather than look like a Disney fairy princess or a high-class prostitute, I want to be  elegant and restrained in a little black dress that’s not too short. I need shoes that add color, and, because I’m in high school, money is an issue. — Sophie

Manolo says, ayyyy! How well the Manolo remembers his own high school prom at the Our Lady of the Flaming Spleen Country Day School (whose motto remains “The wrathful word turneth away evil”). As expected, the Manolo turned out in his finest finery: the frock coat, striped  trousers, silken waistcoat, top hat, spats and his finest walking stick, which, the truth be told, was not that different from what he normally wore to school each day.

Because the Manolo was the fashion reporter for the school newspaper,  it was his job to stand on the red carpet and interview the most splendiferous couples as they arrived in the rented limousines, dressed in the ill-fitting tuxedos and polyester hoochie-mama gowns.

“Ayyy! You look fabulous darling. Who is this you are wearing?

Fernando of Tulsa? It is smashing, this combination of rhinestones and  pink rayon!”

Here is the Red Carpet Kelli from the E! Live ($109,, in the gold metallic that will enliven the simple black dress in the exactly correct way to distinguish one from the crowd.