Soldiers at dawn: Cloudy skies hampered Nathan Jones’ plans to take photographs of the sunrise on March 22, but they enhanced this long-exposure shot he ended up taking of the Iwo Jima Memorial at 5:30 a.m. (Nathan Jones/For Express)


Woman Willing to Depend on Metro for Timely Transport

D.C. resident Rose Preston got out of an ambulance and took Metro to the hospital last month. Why? The first responders treating her were arguing, NBC-4 reports. Preston, an Army veteran who was worried she was having a stroke, said she received oxygen in the ambulance, but exited before the vehicle began moving. “They were constantly bickering back and forth,” she told NBC-4.


Beavis Lives in Virginia Now

Firefighters in Manassas, Va., were called to put out a blaze in a middle school bathroom last month after someone decided to set toilet paper on fire, Potomac Local News reports. Firefighters quickly extinguished the blaze at Metz Middle School, which was contained in the lavatory, firefighters said. No injures were reported.


SNL’s ‘The Ladies’ Man’ Lives in Maryland Now

A burglar in Dundalk, Md., had something to drink to last month when he or she made off with 2,142 cases of cognac plus a truck to haul it, The Baltimore Sun reports. Police say on March 16 someone snuck into a fenced-in lot through an unlocked staff entrance, and drove off in a truck trailing a cargo container of cognac. At press time, the thief was still at-large.