In “The Edge of Tomorrow,” out Friday, aliens invade Earth, as they are wont to do. But fear not, for Tom Cruise is here to save us all! He does that a lot, as you can see from his previous work.
In this film series, Tom Cruise saves us many times from many bad people, often by doing bad things himself. But nothing, not even Tom Cruise, can save you from the DA DA dada DA DA dada DA DA dada DA DA dada Whee-da-dooo! Whee-da-dooo! theme song.
In 1986, Cruise saves us all from the Russians by flying about at high speeds, buzzing towers and killing Goose, his R.I.O. That’s Radar Intercept Officer, which is different than a co-pilot. A co-pilot might have helped Goose not die.
As an inspirational speaker in Paul Thomas Anderson’s 1999 film, Cruise saves men from the evil, evil ways of women, who commit crimes against masculinity like wanting to be thought of as people.
In 2008, Cruise played a Nazi, but a GOOD Nazi. His Col. Claus von Stauffenberg tried to assassinate Hitler. It didn’t work. Good try, though!
‘War of the Worlds’
Cruise isn’t particularly interested in the planet in this 2005 sci-fi film, as he spends the entire alien invasion worrying about his family. Jerk.