“Buying Naked” is my new favorite real estate show (10 p.m., Saturday on TLC). That’s because a real estate show about nudists seeking to buy property in a nudist housing development is far more educational than a real estate show in which everyone is clothed. Here are some of the pointers I’ve picked up:
When showing a house to a nudist, place towels on upholstered chairs to prevent butt cheeks from interacting with chair fabric.
Rough-hewn wood is problematic because, in the words of one nudist, “splinters are not fun to have.”
Even though nudists jog naked and bicycle naked and water their lawns naked, they do not like big windows that would enable EVERYONE to see them naked.
There should be ample space in front of a cooktop so nudists can easily dodge open flames. Countertop rule: “Countertops should be higher than your genitalia.”
P.S.: Mom and Dad, don’t be nervous about watching with the kids. Butt shots abound, but private parts are concealed by such things as a bottle of wine, two ceramic owls, a leaf blower, dogs, cymbals and a pineapple.
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