If you see a Jared Leto clone enjoying the fresh air, you must be in Boulder, Colo. (Getty Images/Express Illustration)

Dear CBS,

You seem to like reality shows. You just announced an “all reality” night on Wednesday, Sept. 24: the finale of “Big Brother” and the premiere of a new “Survivor.”

I’d therefore like to propose a new reality series for you that is like “Big Brother” (weird and quirky people) meets “Survivor” (weird and quirky challenges). I call it: “Who’s Bolder In Boulder?”

Indeed, Boulder, Colo., is the perfect place for a reality show. I oughta know — I was just there.

What’s the most non-GMO/gluten free person, place or thing in Boulder? Competition is intense; even the water fountains proudly declare themselves gluten-free! (I exaggerate, but only a little.)

Who’s the badder street performer: off-key dreadlocked folk singer or contortionist who lies contorted on a quilt and calls out to passersby, “I need someone to look at me!”

Who can cleanse themselves of the most physical and emotional blocks while doing Forrest Yoga, a style of yoga named after teacher Ana Forrest, who wants you to hold those poses until it hurts? And which yogi is best at cradling his or her head as gently as you’d hold a baby? And which yoga teacher can think of the funniest way to pronounce baaaaay-beeeeh?

Then there is the “Jared Leto Lookalike Pageant” – Letoesque flowing hair and flowing beards is a happening look for Boulder dudes!

Finally: Panhandlers’ playoff. In my book, the winner is already clear: the guy with a big sign that says, “I love to fart.”

Want more of Marc’s TV musings?

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