This Friday, American television will welcome a reality show that is truly historic in its presentation of couples therapy. Each episode will feature at least one couple that works through its problems by having sex in a box.
That’s the premise of “Sex Box” (premiering at 10 p.m. Friday on WE tv). A couple that is experiencing marital difficulties go before a panel of three sex experts, who grill them on their sex life. Then the couple copulates in a windowless cube (No, viewers don’t get to see inside). Afterward, couples rejoin the sex experts to take advantage of what they say is the best time to air out all their sex-related issues: post-coitus.
The experts are “nationally certified” sex therapist Dr. Chris Donaghue, psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish, who, in case you forget that she treats the Hollywood elite, will say things like, “In my Beverly Hills practice, 80 percent of the married couples that I treat are living in either sexless marriages or dissatisfied sexual marriages,” and Dr. Yvonne Capeheart, a pastor and couples counselor who delivers a line in the premiere that should become the meme of the month: “I don’t know if this is kinky or crazy.”
The real stars are, of course, the publicity-hungry couples who agree to appear on a TV show, discuss their sexual problems in front of the world and then go inside a big box for an adult version of “Seven (or more) Minutes in Heaven.” “The good news is they have been in there for more than 17 minutes,” Dr. Donaghue observes of one couple.
Oh, did I mention that the shiny exterior of the box changes colors due to I assume the lights in the television studio. If I were a callow person, I suppose I could say: If the box is changing hues, the couple is paying their dues.
After sex-box sex, the couple emerges and assessment occurs. One couple is asked to jot a number down on a card to rate the husband’s ability to provide his wife with, you know, that thing. She gives him a 7.9, which suggests “the sex was pretty good,” according to Dr. Donaghue.
This show is therapeutic in so many ways. First, because the experts encourage the couple to talk to each other about their sexual issues, and that can’t be bad, right? And second, because the revelation that a 7.9 (the equivalent of a C-plus) is an acceptable sex grade is great news for sexual underachievers everywhere!
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