Illustration by Daniel Shaffer (for Express)

Peace and harmony? Forget it. Everyone knows the real reason for the season is fighting with your family. It’s been a tough year, so chances are you’ve already exhausted the classic hot buttons — politics, religion, whether Aunt Maude is too drunk to drive home. Stop rehashing those old tropes and try out these fresh flashpoints — all based on local holiday events. Consider checking them out in person before picking sides. Opposition research, after all, is key to winning any debate.

Three yule duels:

The National Christmas Tree vs. The Capitol Christmas tree

The Washington Ballet’s Nutcracker vs. The Hip Hop Nutcracker

Ford’s Theatre’s “A Christmas Carol” vs. The Second City’s “Twist Your Dickens”