This Wednesday is the grand opening of the M Shop at Metro Center, a store full of WMATA-branded merchandise for all the Metro enthusiasts among us. The store is near the station’s entrance at 12th and F streets. In a press release, Metro general manager Paul Wiedefeld said, “This is a great opportunity for people to get something unique from Metro.” But he also called it like it is — “another potential source of revenue.” Riders on social media didn’t have much love for the idea.
Here are some of the stand-out items in the collection of tote bags and trinkets:
Stress reliever $6.95
Metro makes everyone a ball of stress. Train late again? Just squeeze out your frustrations on this Metrocar-shaped stress ball.
iPad case $55
Cover up your beautifully designed iPad in this homage to the feat of modern engineering that is the D.C. Metro system.
Cuff links $190
Be careful not to lose these cuff links — if a stray one falls onto a track, it could cause rippling delays throughout the system. Also, you should get these because nothing says “classy” like a cuff link designed after an antique transit token.
Bath towel $45.99
Reeking of Metro’s unwashed carpeting and commuter BO? After a shower, you can wipe off the stench with the system’s maze of lines. This towel is also a great choice for a relaxing day at the beach.
Foggy Bottom yoga pants $45
It’s cute that “Foggy Bottom” is the only station to get its own yoga pants. WMATA should have gone all-out and put the name on the butt.
Lip balm $2 each
These chapsticks, inspired by the taste Metro leaves in your mouth, come in flavors like “Red Hot Red Line” and “Minty Mint Silver Line.”
Map plate $9
The best part of waking up is eating your morning toast wondering what horrors await you on your morning commute into work.
When doing this puzzle, see if you can put together why Metro thought a branded merchandise shop was a good idea.
Editor’s note: This post has been changed to reflect the correct price information for the cuff links.