Dear Miss Manners: When my husband and I went to a restaurant with another couple, they ordered an appetizer of Parmesan fries in addition to their entrees. My husband and I ordered just entrees.
The waitress placed the appetizer in the center of the table, and our friends told us to help ourselves. My husband and I ate about two fries each, since it was not our appetizer.
When the check came, we noticed that the waitress split the price of the appetizer between the two checks. We didn't say anything and just paid our half without protest. After all, it wasn't as if paying for half an appetizer was going to set us back.
I honestly don't think our friends even realized that we were charged for half of their appetizer. While this isn't something to be petty about, I hope that this is not a common practice, as I really don't want to pay for other people's food. Was the restaurant correct for assuming that the cost should be split, and what should we do if it happens again?
Given how strong feelings run on the subject of bill splitting, Miss Manners advises waitresses and waiters, since they are barred from hiding under the table, to request specific instructions from the diners. If they do not, you could turn to the other couple and ask, “How would you like to split this?”
Dear Miss Manners: I attended a wedding of a friend who lied to me about having a bridal party.
When she moved to a different state, she started referring to me as her "best friend back home." Before she left, I threw a going-away party with a guest list she chose. She asked me not to post the pictures on social media because she didn't want to offend another "friend." Why didn't she just include that friend on the party list, I asked? I talked to her about it, and she apologized and "allowed" me to post my pictures, but I felt like the secret friend.
When she told me she wasn't having a wedding party, it just gave me a bad feeling. I had a huge medical bill right before the wedding and decided I wouldn't go. She wanted me there, so she paid for my flight.
The "non"-wedding party members were color-coordinated, did all the bridal duties, sat in the front row AND treated me like trash. One of them slammed the door on me, and another snapped at me for coming to check on my friend in the bridal suite. It's like they saw me as the reason that they didn't get official titles. Despite her gesture to fly me in, I felt horrible and went home with hurt feelings.
I was treated badly and lied to, but I feel ridiculous bringing it up because she paid for my flight. I wish I'd never gone. Would you keep a friend like this?