The winner: Hot dogs, peppers and cheese make the perfect Bart. (Deb Lindsey/FOR THE WASHINGTON POST)

To make the Bart, cut three Ball Park Angus Beef Franks lengthwise in three equal slices (for a total of nine). Saute them in a dry nonstick skillet over medium heat until lightly browned; to keep them from curling up, weight them with a bacon press or use a large spatula to press them down. Cut two thick slices of jalapeno cheese bread (baked by Safeway). Slather one slice with Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard, then place a large leaf of romaine lettuce on top. Arrange the sauteed hot dog slices on the lettuce.

Add to the same pan thin slices from half of a small onion and half of a small green bell pepper, along with dash of salt and a good splash of Jamaica Hell Fire Hot Pepper Concentrate (available at Walmart and online via Cook until the vegetables have softened and lightly browned, then sprinkle 1 / 4 cup grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese over them and cook just long enough for the cheese to melt. Cover the hot dog slices with most or all of what’s in the pan, then arrange sliced sweet pickles over that. Place the other slice of jalapeno cheese bread on top; spear with a chopstick and a small paper umbrella.