The Washington Post

Date Lab: If you’re looking for a happy ending, don’t read this one

(Photograph courtesy daters)

She’s new to town. He’s an area native. Will their differences complement?
We sent them to Siroc to find out.

Taylor: She was about 10 minutes late, but no big deal, I know this area well — it’s really tough during that time of evening.

(Photographs of animals by Bigstock; Jeff Bezos by Michael N. Todaro/Getty Images for Amazon Studios; Chrissy Teigen by Rob Kim/Getty Images; Stephen Colbert of “The Colbert Report” by Lucas Jackson/Reuters; Kerry Washington of “Scandal” by Eric McCandless/Associated Press)

Kaitlin: I was at a meeting with a client. I rolled in right from work.

Taylor: I was looking into my phone at the bar. She was cute. I walked over and gave her a hug.

Kaitlin: He wasn’t overwhelmingly my type. I was relieved that he was attractive and not really awkward-looking. We went through the typical questions. He called it “puppy dogs and ice cream.”

Taylor: Puppy dogs and ice cream is more or less the most mundane, banal type of conversation you can have. What do you do? Where are you from? It’s very D.C.-esque.

Kaitlin: I had never heard that before, but apparently that is what people ask on first dates to see where you are in your life financially and socially. We talked a lot about dating in D.C. I’ve found it extremely difficult to meet people because most people are not concerned about dating. They are more concerned about their job.

Taylor: I think she said she’s only been on four dates in nine months. I’m like, Whoa — you need to get out there.

Kaitlin: A lot of our conversation was analytical about dating and D.C. and college.

Taylor: I think I asked her what her worst date was, and she didn’t have much of an answer. I’ve had umpteen worst dates. I shared a couple of them just for [laughs].

Kaitlin: He is a great storyteller and boisterous, and we had a great time, but there was no spark.

Taylor: We talked a lot about college. She was president of her sorority. I hate sororities, and furthermore I hate the presidents of sororities.

Kaitlin: That triggered the whole conversation of how we both ended up in D.C. He grew up in D.C. and stayed here for school. I think I offended him, saying like, “Oh, it’s okay that you never left your home town.” But if I lived here, I probably wouldn’t leave here, either.

Taylor: I live out in Arlington, and she’s never been out that way. She was like, “Over the bridge is just too far.”

Kaitlin: He’s like, “What, are you too good to leave the city?” I’m like, No, I’m not too good, but I like living in the city. I don’t see a reason to pay $15 to go over to Arlington to have a drink.

Taylor: I think the idea of somebody being a wedding planner — it lends itself to more or less kind of serendipitous type of mind-set where “ ‘Everything will match up when I meet the right guy’ kind of situation.”

Kaitlin: I’m thinking, Just because I plan weddings doesn’t mean I want one just this second. I was a little like, Oh, you think I’m just husband hunting?

Taylor: It’s Thursday, and it was only 10. I would hate to leave the date where it had just kind of been more or less a Q-and-A session. So I figured why not go to one other bar.

Kaitlin: It was a sports bar. I would not choose to hang out there, but it was fun.

Taylor: She said, “I’ve only been hit on four times since I’ve moved here.” I’m like, “Well, I don’t know if you realize, but this is me trying to hit on you right now. You’re not receiving the signals.”

Kaitlin: I believe it went more like, “How would you even be able to recognize if this was me hitting on you, since you do not date a lot?”

Taylor: It was kind of like a Dating 101 class, and I really didn’t want to be the teacher.

Kaitlin: We went back to talking about work. It was a nail in the coffin. I was like, Yup, this is definitely, like, friends.

Taylor: I felt like it was a nice gesture to throw out the “we should exchange numbers.” I’m not going to text her or call her. I’m pretty sure after she reads the review she’s probably not going to talk to me again. But she’s got some more dating to do, that’s all.


Kaitlin: I would say 3.5. It was fine; we had fun.

Taylor: I’d say it was a 3. She’s a sweet girl. She’s nice.


UPDATE:Shockingly, this date didn’t lead to a second. “I got a new phone, and [the number] didn’t make the transition to the new one,” Taylor says. Says Kaitlin, “There has been no contact, which is A-okay with me.”

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