(Photograph courtesy daters)

They’re both tall, polite and looking for a smart significant other with a sarcastic sense of humor. But during dinner at Occidental, their cellphones might not be the only things disconnected.

Emily: I walked in, beautiful restaurant, was seated at the table. The host went to get Parker, who had gotten there early.

Parker: I thought she was actually really cute. She was really well put together, too. She was, like, 6 feet tall; I’m 6-6, so I was pretty happy with that.

Emily: My first impression was, he’s very, very tall. And I’m thinking to myself, Maybe that’s why it took years and years for my application to get success. I’m 5-11; I’m not shy about wearing tall heels. I think it’s very difficult [to find tall men] in D.C.


Parker:She’s very outgoing, very talkative. It was easy to move the conversation along.

Emily: The conversation was a little bumpy. I feel like we didn’t get into that rhythm of conversation. I do feel like he seemed familiar to me in the typical D.C. [way]: moved here for a job, plays kickball. He did seem kind of shy, a little more soft-spoken, maybe?

Parker: She talked quite a bit about what she did [for work], so that was probably the first 20 or 30 minutes of the conversation. She kept going. I mean, I was interested, so I wasn’t bored or looking away.

Emily: We didn’t talk about work too much. There was a period where I was talking about my job quite a bit. But he seemed interested.

Parker: I think we matched up pretty well. She had a pretty good sense of humor. It was a nice surprise to be with someone who can be funny and can appreciate a joke. I’ve been on some really bad dates like that before. ... I’m kind of sarcastic and dry humor, and some people just don’t understand that.

Emily: The sense of humor wasn’t really clicking. I’m admittedly kind of sarcastic, and I think that was falling flat. That kind of puts a damper on the rhythm of conversation. I didn’t feel like there were a lot of common interests. Things were kind of feeling incongruous.

Parker: We talked a lot about technology, how dependent we are on cellphones and that stuff. My cellphone doesn’t work [right now], so it has been a rough few days not having it. We’re both in this mindframe where, if we’re bored, we take out our cellphones and text and that sort of thing.

Emily: I am sort of the worst offender of needing my technology. I hate to admit it, but I’m certainly someone who I don’t know what I would do without a phone.

Parker: Because I didn’t have a phone, I didn’t know what time it was. But she mentioned she had to work in the morning, and I have to get up kind of early, as well. It was kind of a mutual thing. We took a couple pictures in the lobby and went outside.

Emily: He just walked me to the corner. I was walking to the Metro, and he was walking to his car. He had asked for my number. But I don’t know that much will come of it if he doesn’t have a phone!

Parker: [There was] a handshake, and that was it. I’m definitely going to try to get in contact with her. I’m going to try to text her from a friend’s phone.


Emily: A 3 [out of 5] — right in the middle. As first dates go, trust me, I’ve had much worse. It was fine [but] not a romantic match. I don’t have his number, and he doesn’t have a phone, so I don’t know! Technology isn’t working in our favor in that regard.

Parker: I’d give it a 4. I was impressed we were able to talk for so long. It wasn’t forced or anything, it wasn’t, like, we’re going to run through a checklist of questions. I had a good time.

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UPDATE: After Parker got his new phone, he and Emily traded some texts. But when Parker broached the idea of a second date, he says he got no response. “I can’t really say I’m surprised or disappointed that we didn’t meet up again,” he told us. Says Emily: “Not much contact since the date. There were a few texts, but things got very busy for me with this trip coming up.”


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