(Photograph courtesy daters)

Tim threw us a bit of a curveball by announcing on date day that he had tickets for two at a DC Improv show. His thinking: “Even if the date’s going horribly, there will be some type of entertainment.”

8 p.m., DC Improv, followed by dinner at Panache Restaurant, downtown

Tim: I [got] there a little bit early [and] picked chairs close up to the front. My back’s toward her when she walked in. The attendant was tapping me on the shoulder, and I was like: “I already got my drink. Oh, my date is here. Well, hello, my lady.” I was taken aback. She’s way out of my league.Melissa: It was like a real reveal; I turned the corner, and there he was. My impression from just looking at his face was I knew he was gonna be a nice guy. He kind of had a baby face. [But] he wouldn’t be my type. Usually, I go for more athletic men. I’m such a doctor; I shook his hand.

Tim: I know Northeastern Corridor people are really touchy-feely, but that’s not really me, so a firm handshake, how are you doing, nice to meet you, can I take your coat? Had that conversation. Then we were talking about how long we were in the city. I told her that I pretty much don’t have anything to do with D.C. I’m far farther south at the Patuxent River Naval Air Station. She was kind of surprised by that.

Melissa: In D.C., everybody lives an hour and a half away once you account for traffic, but he literally lives a true hour and a half away, which led me to: Why are you here? Who would drive that far to go on a date with someone? Tim: She seemed kind of tense. I don’t know if I have a lecherous child-molester look, but she did seem guarded. Later, she realized I’m just a normal person, and the conversation was, I’d say, less guarded.Melissa: We had about 20 minutes to talk before the comedians started. He was easy to talk to. But there were a few [awkward] moments. He asked if I wanted to switch seats, and I was like , “No, I’m good,” and he was like, “Yeah, if someone walks by, I can just karate-chop them.” It was loud enough for other people to hear. I was a little embarrassed.


Tim: When the comedians got up, it was gut-busting laughter. [But] I didn’t know the set would go so long. My stomach was literally punching my liver telling me to eat something by the time they finished up. We took a couple of pictures, got our coats and walked up the street and around the corner.

Melissa:We walked into the restaurant, and he said something along the lines of, “Yeah, we’re here for the super-duper fantastic date,” and the hostess lady was like, “That is one too many adjectives.” And I was like, “Yeah, we’re just here for the date.” Tim: We ordered a couple appetizers. We did some popping and swapping with that. We talked about what music we liked and growing up in the church. Melissa: He was like, “You seem like the type that would listen to a gospel radio station.” And I was like: “Uh, not really. I listen to Rihanna.” Tim: She was like, “I’m not the Bible thumper that you think I am.” I’m glad, because that’s not what I’m looking for. I felt like we had more things in common than drew us apart.Melissa: He didn’t really flirt, which was a positive for me. He’s a really nice guy, but his sense of humor is a little corny for me.Tim:I don’t feel like I was trying to flirt. I’m just there to figure out what type of person she is. Melissa: By 11:30, we were wrapping things up. I said, “This has been a good experience.” He said, “Yeah, how’d you like to do this again?” I was like, “Okay,” because it’s hard for me to say no to people. And actually I would be open to a friendship with him. He offered to walk me to my car. There was no kiss but a friendly hug and a quick goodbye.


Tim: As a romantic encounter, [I’d rate the date] a 4.5.Melissa: I would rate the date as a 2, as far as I’m not romantically interested in him. But I think the overall experience of the date was like a 4.

Visit the Magazine.Follow the Magazine on Twitter.Like us on Facebook.E-mail us at wpmagazine@washpost.com.

UPDATE: When we last checked in with Tim and Melissa, neither had contacted the other. Maybe the super-duper fantastic date just wasn’t all that.