(Chi Birmingham)

Amber and Dylan decide to get married. Dylan wants a simple, inexpensive wedding with pizza and beer. Amber wants a “traditional” wedding with 850 guests in a chateau in the South of France, catered by famed Belgian chef Piet Huysentruyt, with her gown made of brocaded silk spun by rare Indonesian spiders. When Dylan starts to object, a small tear begins to bead up in the corner of Amber’s left eye, her chin trembles and she stammers out something about “my special day.” What is the most likely result?

F. Amber and Dylan will find a sane compromise because they are so very much in love.

G. Dylan and Amber will find a sane compromise because, after all, it is only a wedding.

H. Piet Huysentruyt’s menu will feature dishes cloyingly named for the bride (example: “Amber-osia”).

Which of the following persons did not recently play college football?

A. Silverberry Mouhon

C. Taco Charlton

F. Munchie Legeaux

J. Cassanova McKinzy

L. Hillary Rodham Clinton

Which of the following would be a legitimate reason “The Redskins” is NOT an offensive name for an NFL team:

F. It is honoring Native Americans by referring to them as if they were entirely defined by skin pigmentation.

H. A group of Native Americans to whom the owner gives lots of money officially supports the use of the name.

O. Hey, calling a football team Redskins is no worse than giving a baseball team this logo:

(Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

P. The franchise has relocated to DC Comics’ Bizarro World, on the planet Htrae.

A joke appears in The WashingtonPost. It begins: “Rosa Parks, Anne Frank, an indomitable person with mental retardation and a proud transgender teenager walk into a bar. ...” Who is
most likely to be the butt of the joke?

E. Rosa

A. Anne

D. the indomitable person

C. the proud teenager

B. Egyptian strongman Abdel Fattah al-Sisi

Bob wishes to travel from 14th and K streets NW to the U.S. Capitol. What means of transportation should Bob probably NOT take?

T. Metro

N. taxi

Z. Uber

J. gyrocopter

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