(Illustration by Thomas Burden for The Washington Post)

Superman has superhuman strength, X-ray vision, the power of flight, skin invulnerable to bullets and enough lung power to put out a four-alarm house fire. Batman has a dorky mask and a car with big tail fins. What would happen if they had a mano-a-mano showdown?

A. Batman would use his crime-fighting experience, martial arts expertise and some of the corny gadgets on his utility belt to confuse, confound and ultimately conquer the Kryptonian creep.

B. Superman would rip off Batman’s head and utilize his headless corpse as a spittoon.

T. It would clear $850 million at the box office.

The New York Yankees’ player payroll is more than three times that of the Tampa Bay Rays, which means ...

A. Major League Baseball’s competitive playing field is scrupulously level, just like that of the World Wrestling Entertainment circuit.

B. The Yanks are a morally superior organization and therefore deserving of “a little edge” in attracting the best players.

O. The Yanks will win three times as many games as the Rays, in Gene Weingarten’s imagination.

Who is currently Thailand’s minister of tourism and sports?

A. William “Bud” Johnson

B. Seamus McGregor

P. Kobkarn Wattanavrangkul

In a meeting with The Washington Post’s editorial board, what size glove did presidential candidate Donald Trump say he buys?

A. “Huge.”

B. “Massive.”

T. “Slightly smaller than large.”

Which of the following persons is NOT a Bernie Sanders supporter?

A. The kid who works at the laundromat with that barrel thing in his ear where the earlobe has been stretched like Dumbo’s.

B. Bernie Sanders.

U. Chelsea Clinton’s husband, whatsizface.


(Map by Chi Birmingham for The Washington Post)

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