A: There is something about this note that is making my spidey sense detect that you think your son is without fault or blame in all situations across the board, and so I am unsure how to guide you.
On one hand, of course most parents don’t want to hear their child is subpar in any way, shape or form. It hurts, it is embarrassing, and it can feel like an attack on you and the child. It is hard to listen to mistakes your child has made. I get it.
On the other hand, for almost every child on earth, mistakes are made, and some of these mistakes are in school. It doesn’t mean your child is out of control or “bad” or anything; it’s just life.
And then we have the matter of the female teachers who nitpick him. Either we have a problem with the school and how teachers treat the boys (which is actually quite common) or you are overly sensitive to any critique. Or a mix of both.
We also need to parse out that being well liked, being athletic, scoring high on tests, etc., have little to do with his behavior in the classroom. Some of the most well-liked children in school can be some of the most out of control (for a variety of reasons).
I also don’t know about the discipline plans. Are they spirit-crushing? Do they use shame, blame, embarrassment, unrealistic behavioral expectations, etc? Or are they reasonable, positive and attainable?
Finally, life is not fair. Not now, not ever. Your child will be blamed for things he didn’t do. He will be caught for actions that others get away with. These lessons are important for children to learn early, so I don’t think that you should strive to make sure that everything is equal all of the time.
On the other hand, if you genuinely you feel that your son is targeted and being treated as badly as you feel he is, I cannot believe you haven’t called serious meetings with the teachers and admin. If I felt that my children’s spirits were being crushed, I would be in there, STAT.
Find the line between your feelings and reality. I cannot see it. So you have to sit down and take a hard look.
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