I have a very pushy, very intelligent boss. He often asks me to do things (with computers) that are simply not possible.

For example, he wants me to transfer and save DVDs onto an iPad, and transfer DVDs of family videos I had made for him from old VHS tapes onto his computer — also impossible.

He also gave me a task to do involving scans (turned into PDF files), which he said I could transfer into a Word document and search through using a common word search -- also impossible!

He thinks he is much smarter/computer savvy than I (and perhaps he is), but I know these things cannot be done.

How do I tell him this and get him to listen and not think I’m a moron (which is what has happened in the past)? -- Not a Moron

DEAR NOT: I’m not especially tech savvy, but I do believe that all the tasks your boss has asked you to do can in fact be done -- quite easily.

In a very simple search on YouTube I uncovered several tutorials showing how these tasks can be performed. (I also learned to play the ukulele.)

No one likes to be thought a moron, and if your boss has given you a directive and you are stumped, you could ask him an open-ended question that both appeals to his intelligence and masks your ignorance: “Do you have a suggestion on the way you want this done? Do you prefer a particular software product?”

If he doesn’t have a suggestion, then avail yourself of tutorials on your own. Back up everything before you make format changes.


My 55-year-old husband of 35 years was texting and calling a 27-year-old woman for several months, to the tune of 300 texts in one five-week period, 30 in one day, and numerous phone calls.

I confronted him about this. I then found out he was having some breakfasts, lunches, dinners and going to her apartment for coffee. I was furious!

He said he would stop and life seemed to be back to normal. I have been in counseling ever since, though he refuses to go.

Last month I found out he was still in contact with her and had seen her. I am sooooo hurt. I feel betrayed, duped and lied to. He has minimized it and said he didn’t do anything wrong because he didn’t touch her.

I need my husband to see that this is wrong! -- Wronged Wife

DEAR WIFE: Your husband knows this is wrong. That’s why he has been hiding this contact from you.

Your husband’s denial that this is a problem is a nonstarter. It is a problem because this outside relationship is interfering in your marriage.

Continue to explore this in therapy. If you have a non-negotiable stand on this which your husband continues to defy, and if you try to prompt conversations in therapy which he refuses to join (even though your relationship is at stake), then the next decision will be yours alone to make.


It sure would help waitresses all over the world if you could answer this question.

I work in a casino in the Midwest. I love my job and my customers, but sometimes they haven’t a clue.

Why do people order a glass of water and then not drink it? They insist on a glass of water and then do not touch it.

Do you have any idea of how much water we have to throw away a day? People: If you don’t drink it, don’t order it! Someday we may need all the water we can get. -- Frustrated Waitress

DEAR WAITRESS: Many customers may recall a day, not too long ago, when water was automatically offered as part of the basic table service.

And yet, the unconsumed water (and the water used to wash the unused glasses) constitutes a significant waste -- not to mention the unnecessary effort required on the part of wait staff to fill, carry and return unused water.

However, this does not obligate people who order water to drink it, any more than someone ordering the cheesecake is required to finish it.

Write to Amy Dickinson at or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

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