The Washington Post

Ask Amy: Feng shui of relationship is out of balance

Dear Readers:

I’m marking my 10-year anniversary of writing the “Ask Amy” column by rerunning some of my favorite “Ask Amy” questions and answers. I return next week.

Dear Amy:

We understand that you are good at answering questions and read your column every day before we start our daily chores.

Our problem is this: How do we go about avoiding all that sex and violence that is currently showing on our VCR? It’s a real problem for us.

— Tami and Vicki

I would suggest that you remove the tape immediately. (2004)

* * *

Dear Amy:

I have been following basically the same route to work for the past seven years. In that time I recognize several good-looking women driving the same route. I have only seen these women in their cars. I wonder how they would look if I could see them out of the car.

Since I know where they turn in to their places of work, it would be easy to follow them one day and watch. If I did this, would I be a stalker?

— Doug

No, you’d just be a creep. For now, it’s a legal distinction — which I hope you won’t explore further. (2003)

* * *

Dear Amy:

“Pat” and I have been dating for a few months, and things are great between us — for the most part.

Pat has a 160-pound Great Dane that he allows to sleep in bed with him. When I spend the night at his place, his dog usually sleeps with us and there is not enough room for the three of us, so Pat usually sleeps on the couch or in the guest room.

I don’t like this arrangement and don’t think the dog should be sleeping with us, but also feel it’s not my place to say anything. It’s his dog and his house. How do I tell Pat that I want to spend the night with him, not his dog?

I am getting to the point where I don’t want to spend the night with him anymore. I know he feels my frustration, but we’ve never discussed it other than him saying his dog is overly spoiled. Please advise?

— Doggone Tired

Are you telling me that when you go to your boyfriend’s house, you end up sleeping with his 160-pound dog?

And you can’t manage to say, “I want to spend the night with you, not your dog?”

Here’s how I see it: If you’re brave enough to risk a nighttime encounter with Marmaduke, then surely you’re brave enough to start a conversation. (2004)

Amy’s column appears seven days a week at Write to Amy Dickinson at or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

by the Chicago Tribune



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