Ask Amy: Seeing eye to eye on height difference
By Amy Dickinson,
DEAR AMY: A few months ago I started talking to a woman I met through a mutual friend of ours. I’m 24 and she’s 22. We really hit it off and get along great.
We now hang out a lot and are spending a lot of time together. What was a casual friendship seems to be heading in another direction. We’ve talked about dating and both of us are open to the idea. We do get along great. The only thing is that she’s 6 feet tall and I’m 5 foot 8.
This isn’t an issue for me in the least bit, but it concerns her. She talks about how it shouldn’t matter and she wants to get past it, but it’s stuck in her head.
Any advice on how I could help her? I don’t know what I should do. -- Too Short Guy
DEAR GUY: Do nothing. Be the cool guy.
The issue your friend is wrestling with is literally as clear as the nose on her face. It is her issue to get over, and she either will or won’t.
You cannot and should not do anything differently. Your job is quite literally to be yourself.
I will tell you this: True love knows no height. The day may come when she realizes she has stopped noticing how tall she is. It would be nice if you were standing next to her at that moment.
DEAR AMY: My husband of six years has four adult children from a previous marriage. I have two. We rarely see his children, nor do they ever contact us. Previous experiences have not been good with them. (I was not “the other woman.”)
Two of his children got married, and I gave them a gift of a week at a very expensive time share that I own that is a short drive away.
Neither of them has ever written a thank-you note. In fact, one complained that the area was “too expensive.” The time share is very nice and does have a completely furnished kitchen if they want to save on the cost of going out for dinner.
We’ve heard via Facebook that another of his daughters is getting married. I really hate to waste another week at my time share for this upcoming marriage. This daughter is marrying someone we’ve never met, but we do know that he is nearly 20 years her senior and a heavy drinker.
This time I would like to give a modest wedding gift rather than once again forgo a vacation at my favorite resort and not even be thanked.
What are your thoughts? At this point we do not even know if we are invited to the wedding. -- Wondering Wife
DEAR WONDERING WIFE: If you are invited to this wedding, you should be as generous with this daughter as you have been with her siblings. To do otherwise would mean that you are basically making her pay for the ingratitude of other people.
This gift is a “onetime” offering, given through your generosity. Obviously you need not repeat the gesture to any person who doesn’t appreciate, enjoy or thank you for it.
DEAR AMY: You are completely off in your response to “Speechless,” regarding the 12-year-old who dropped and damaged her friend’s iPhone when the friend asked her to hold it.
When one person entrusts an item to another for safekeeping, the second person is responsible for keeping that item safe. If the item is damaged while in the second person’s care, whether by accident or intentionally, that person is responsible for the damage to the object.
Even if this girl damaged the item through her negligence rather than through an intentional act, I don’t think the age of 12 is too early to teach the child about responsibility. -- JH
DEAR JH: I disagree. When you own an object, you also own the responsibility for that object. When you ask someone else to hold it, you basically take your chances that the other person may drop or accidentally damage the object, just as you might.
Write to Amy Dickinson at firstname.lastname@example.org or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.
2012 by the Chicago Tribune
Distributed by Tribune Media Services