●How to Be a Gentleman (8:30 p.m., CBS) This sluggish, unfunny sitcom (based on an etiquette book of the same name) stars David Hornsby as men’s magazine columnist Andrew Carlson, a sort of mash-up between Alex P. Keaton and Niles Crane — and every other sitcom dandy through the ages. When his editor (Dave Foley) informs Andrew that the new owner wants to revamp the upscale magazine for younger guy readers (translation: bros), Andrew has to find something to write about besides collar tabs and proper stationery.

In a spooky case of life imitating art, Kevin Dillon shows up as the bully who used to pummel Andrew in high school (though they are clearly a decade apart in age) and is now Andrew’s surest path to American male zeitgeist. It’s as if we’re watching an “Entourage” episode where Dillon’s Johnny Drama gets cast in a stinker sitcom; you keep waiting for a meta-reveal that never comes. Instead, you get this year’s “$#!* My Dad Says.” Grade: F

Hank Stuever

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